


a world for the birds

by fanfoolishness (LoonyLupin), LoonyLupin



Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [40]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birdwatching, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, Post-Steven Universe Future, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Pre-Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/fanfoolishness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoonyLupin/pseuds/LoonyLupin
Summary: Andy DeMayo took up birding years ago, but his favorite hobby takes on new meaning when shared with his nephew Steven.A series of looks at Andy and Steven's growing family relationship, from after Change Your Mind through to The Future and beyond.  Expect some things unsaid, some heart-to-hearts, some angst, some support, and an awful lot of birdwatching.
Relationships: Andy DeMayo & Greg Universe, Andy DeMayo & Steven Universe
Series: Starshine Over Beach City: Moments from Steven Universe [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523993
Comments: 159
Kudos: 205
Collections: Steven Universe Completed Recommended Reads





	1. learning how to see

Andy breathed in the salt air. Another visit back to Beach City in Delmarva; a good place. He’d forgotten how good, somehow, years of flying on his own and watching folks move away. But there were new reasons to come back here, Greg and his kid, their weird space family. He liked having a home base again, even if still he only visited once a month or so. Some habits died hard.

Andy and Steven sat on the porch, watching the waves as they waited for Greg to come on over. They had dinner plans at the crab place down the street. Andy was looking forward to it. He’d seen Greg last month, but it’d been a while since he’d gotten a chat with the kid, who’d apparently been spending an awful lot of time in space lately. It was still hard to wrap his mind around sometimes, though Steven seemed to take it in stride.

Andy let out a sigh, watching the laughing gulls on the beach fighting over a crab. He found himself asking a simple question.

“Hey Steven, you ever been birdwatching?”

Greg’s kid wasn’t quite as open and excitable as he used to be. Typical teenager, Andy supposed, especially since the kid had finally started growing. He’d been weirdly tiny when he met him the first time. Maybe now that he’d hit that growth spurt, he’d figured out how to get moody, too. Or maybe it was all the space stuff. Andy wasn’t sure.

Steven shrugged. “Uh, I mean, I’ve _seen_ birds…”

“Nah, I mean, you ever actually _watched_ ‘em? Like those laughing gulls out there?” Andy rummaged through the knapsack at his feet, pulling out a battered copy of _Sibley’s Guide to Birds of Eastern North America._ He waved the book at Steven. “I see a lot of birds when I fly, and after a while I got tired of not knowing their names. If, uh, you ever want to give it a try, it’s pretty fun….”

Steven’s face lit up. Oh, _there_ was that excitable kid again. “Sure!”

***

Andy mulled over the destination for their first birding foray for a few weeks. The weather had been crummy for the rest of his stay last time, so they made tentative plans to bird the woods around Beach City and the local marsh nearby. Andy sorted through some of his old books. Was Sibley better for a beginner? Peterson? Maybe he’d throw in the National Geographic guide. He went back and forth about it for longer than he would have liked to admit.

He knocked on Steven’s door bright and early, having landed the plane well above the high tide mark. “You ready, kid?”

Steven opened the door, strapped to high heaven with binoculars, a camera, and a bulging messenger bag. He was also wearing a bright pink jacket over a blue shirt. Not exactly nature colors, but it would be fine. “Oh, I’m ready, Uncle Andy. I was _born_ ready.”

“I… admire your enthusiasm,” said Andy gruffly. “Here ya go. Take your pick.” He held out two different guides. Steven grabbed the Sibley’s, leaving Andy with the Nat Geo.

“So I just look up the bird I think it is?”

“Yeah, but you gotta have an idea of what type of bird is, or you can get confused real easy. There’s like seven hundred birds in that book.” Andy nodded to a pair of terns flying over the water. “Any idea what those are?”

“Uh, seagulls?”

Andy tried not to grimace. “Ain’t no such thing as a seagull. Just gulls. There’s lots of different species.” He showed Steven the right section of the book, and the kid’s eyes widened.

“Whoa. I had no idea! I just thought they were all seagulls, and that they like to steal my food.”

“Well, yeah, that they do. But those there are terns. Caspian terns, you can tell by the size of ‘em. And that bright red bill.”

Steven raised his binoculars, struggling with adjusting them for a moment. Then he grinned, lowering them. “I see the red! That’s awesome, Uncle Andy. I can’t believe I never noticed those before. Are they rare?”

“Not really, no. Now that you’ve got an idea of ‘em, you’ll see ‘em all over. See the thing about birding is, it teaches you how to _see_ birds instead of just looking at ‘em. It’s not the same thing.” 

“What do you mean?”

Andy thought about the kid’s question. They walked along the sand to the plane, Andy pointing out a few willets and a lone killdeer as they went. As they neared the plane, he came up with something, huffing and puffing as they hiked up the hill.

“I mean… so many people see a bird, and they don’t even think about it. Or if they do, they think, ‘oh, it’s just a bird.’ But there’s more to it than that, ain’t there? You look a little deeper and you start to see it. A red beak on a bird you thought was just a gull. Or the flashy colors of a hummingbird or a painted bunting. Or a little peep, just digging and digging away until it comes out with a huge clam in its bill. And it just makes you think, you know? Like what else am I missing?”

“You mean about birds?” asked Steven as they reached the plane, not the slightest out of breath.

Andy wiped the sweat from his brow. “Well, yeah.”

***

The birding went great. Andy found a smooth field to set the plane down in on the edge of the Beach City woods. It was no Magic Hedge out there -- not that he’d expected _that_ level of activity-- but he was pleased with the different types of environments the little wood and field had. The field itself, full of horned larks; the deep part of the wood, where a woodpecker lurked frustratingly out of sight; the edge of the wood, where the flycatchers perched and watched for passing bugs. Steven almost looked like he was gonna cry when Andy showed him the pages of _Empidonax_ flycatchers, all of them almost exactly alike.

“You don’t have to get those right away,” said Andy gruffly. “I’ve been doing this twenty years, I still mix ‘em up if they don’t sing. People just call them _Empids_ a lot in their notes because you can’t tell ‘em apart. But I’d guess that one’s a least flycatcher, sitting here on the edge like it is, and that sharp little call.” 

Steven wrote the bird’s name down in a brand-new waterproof notebook in pencil, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. “So now I have… twelve birds for my life list? How many do you have, Uncle Andy?”

Andy laughed. “I don’t know off the top of my head. I have a list back in the plane, though. I think last time I checked I hit somewhere ‘round eight hundred? Flying takes me all over, you see. Picked up some great birds when I flew you and your dad to Korea.”

Steven gaped at him with eyes like dinner plates. “How many species _are_ there? Now I wish I’d been paying attention when Dad and I went on that trip.” He frowned. “I guess I was thinking about other stuff, though…”

Andy looked curiously at the kid. Pensive was an odd look on him. “Uh, there’s a ton of species, almost ten grand. A damn lot of them. Always new ones to find,” said Andy. “Ooh! Look there! Tufted titmouse.”

They ended the day with forty species, not bad at all considering it was the beginning of summer and migration was over. Andy had managed to start impressing upon Steven the importance of birding by ear, especially for warblers, and Steven had immediately downloaded something on his phone that did bird calls, promising to study. 

Andy left him with the Sibley’s, Steven giving him a bonecrushing hug. He’d hugged him back, awkwardly. He still wasn’t sure what to do with his nephew’s affections, but he thought it was a good problem to have.


	2. complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven spots an osprey, and Andy explains gray catbirds. Andy learns about what happened to the barn.

Andy tried not to get his hopes up too much. After all, Steven was a teenager, and Andy himself had been in his late twenties before he’d really started paying attention to birds. Just wasn’t an activity you saw a lot of kids doing. Most of the people he ran into on his travels with binoculars were older than he was.

He tried to prepare himself for the inevitability of Steven having lost interest since last month, for him to cheerfully admit he hadn’t cracked open the Sibley’s at all and would rather go to the arcade or hang out with his friends. And that would be okay, the kid gave it a shot and he didn’t like it, and that was still pretty good, right?

He was utterly dumbfounded to walk up the steps to the beach house and see Steven sitting there, binoculars around his neck, the Sibley’s flipped open to hawks. “Uncle Andy! I’m glad you’re here. Is that an osprey?” Steven pulled off his binoculars and handed them to Andy, pointing out a ways beyond the surf. 

It took him a moment to adjust Steven’s binoculars, but Andy grinned once he got the bird in sights. The osprey hovered above the waves, white wings with black patches stretched wide, large keen eyes in a clever face watching for signs of fish below. “Sure is. You really been keeping up with this stuff? I mean, you don’t have to if it’s not your thing.”

Steven smiled up at him. “Well -- I mean, it’s something you really like, right? And it’s something we can do together. I dunno, I think that’s cool. I love playing music with my dad, or helping the Gems build Little Homeschool, or training with Connie -- it’s something you and me can share. And it’s fun. I always thought animals were really cool, but I’m really getting into the life list thing. Like collecting G.U.Y.S. and G.A.L.S. toys, but real.”

“Yeah, that makes sense, kid. I think,” said Andy. “Huh. You’re a very positive person, you know that?”

Steven laughed. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

“So what’s this Little Homeschool thing? You guys building something?”

Steven looked guilty for a second, a furtive wince. “You remember Garnet's wedding?"

"I remember runnin' for my life when a spaceship showed up," Andy snorted. "Yeah."

"You know we lost the barn then, right?”

"Nah, I just got outta there as fast as I could. Didn't get a chance to reconnect with your dad until weeks after that." Andy sighed, gnawing on his bottom lip with his teeth. “I did notice it wasn’t there the last few times I’ve flown out this way. Meant to ask about it at the wedding, actually, but something distracted me... don't remember what...."

"Aw, come on, Uncle Andy," Steven said, raising his eyebrows.

"So what happened to it? Some magic stuff?”

“Yeah… my friend Lapis kinda ran off with it to the moon, then she dropped it on one of my Mom’s relatives. They're the ones who were attacking us at the wedding. The barn didn’t make it,” said Steven, looking sheepish.

“I don’t even wanna know how she took it to the moon. The actual moon? I mean, I know your space family, y’know, comes from space, but I thought they used spaceships and stuff. Not barns.” Andy shook his head. He _had_ to figure out how to stop being surprised by the stuff that came out of this kid’s mouth.

“She has water powers and can fly,” said Steven matter-of-factly. “Gems don’t need to breathe in space, so all she had to do was surround the barn with water and fly it up there --”

“Yeah, when you put it like that, it sounds so easy,” Andy chuckled.

“I know it’s weird,” said Steven in a rush. “Who just flies off with a barn to the moon, right? But anyway, since the barn didn’t survive the fight we had with my mom’s relatives, the land was free. There’s a lot more Gems living on Earth than there used to be -- I mean, it’s complicated, but that’s the gist of it -- and they needed somewhere to live. So they’ve started building a little colony near Beach City. Mayor Nanefua did some complicated government stuff to make it all legal and it’s going really well. We could go on a tour, if you want --”

Andy didn’t know why his chest felt so heavy so suddenly. He’d known the barn was gone for a few months, didn’t know what had happened, but knew it had to be something related to the blue and green ladies that lived there. He’d already made his peace with that. So why did Steven’s explanation make him feel a little bit like crap? He thought of his mom and dad tinkering in the barn, the smell of grease and metal, summers with Greg and the other cousins running around in the fields, and he blinked hard.

“Are you okay, Uncle Andy?” asked Steven uncertainly. “Maybe we should have asked you first--”

“Nah, it’s fine,” said Andy. And it was, or at least, it would be. “I don’t have a lotta time this visit, but maybe next time we could go check it out.” He shrugged. “Why are there more Gems now?”

“Oh! Well, there actually _were_ a lot of Gems on Earth, but they were corrupted -- jeez, how do I explain that -- they were sick and that made them act really weird and look like monsters. They didn’t know who they were. But the Diamonds and I -- my mom’s relatives -- we healed them. They’re just like Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl now.” He considered. “Okay, maybe not exactly. They still look a little different and they lost thousands of years of memories, but they’re trying the best they can to get back into a normal life….” His voice trailed off.

Andy stared, raising an eyebrow. “That sounds, uh, intense.”

Steven held his hands out, shrugging. “I guess it kind of does.”

“Why’d your mom’s folks help you with that? I thought you guys were fighting so bad you dropped the barn on them.” Andy leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms.

“I mean, that was Lapis, not me,” said Steven, laughing, but the sound seemed forced. “It’s, uh, really complicated. They didn’t know I had my mom’s gem yet, and then when they did they didn’t realize that I wasn’t her just shapeshifting, and we -- they -- um, the important thing is they came around. Eventually.” His hand dug into his shirt over his stomach, like it hurt him. 

“I don’t know what any of that means,” Andy admitted. “But family’s complicated. Sometimes it ain’t easy, dealing with them. You know?”

“ _Yes,_ ” Steven said in relief. “Yeah, that, exactly.” He let out a long, shaky breath, lowering his hand and resting it in his lap.

Andy gave the kid a worried look. He didn’t like how he’d looked almost… _scared,_ talking about his mom’s family like that.

“So,” he said brightly, changing the subject, “you still wanna check out some summer birds? Thought maybe we could find some nests around the woods. It’s a good time for it.”

“Sure!” said Steven. He scrambled to his feet and leapt in the air over the edge of the deck, and before Andy could cry out, he floated gracefully to the ground. Oh, yeah. The floating thing. Andy knocked a fist against his chest, trying to fight back against the burst of adrenaline that had flooded through him a second ago. Phew.

He took the long way down, bringing Steven’s binoculars with him, holding the handrail down the stairs, careful not to slip.

***

“Uncle Andy! What’s this little fella?” Steven asked in a whisper, staring hard at a bird a few feet away, perched boldly on a log in the open.

Andy glanced at the bird, neat gray body, jaunty black cap, rusty rump. “Gray catbird,” he said softly. “They’re close to mockingbirds. Not nearly as good as mimicking as they are, but they do their best. Mostly they just meow. _Mew, mew._ ” The catbird flicked its tail, cocking its head at them.

“That is adorable!” Steven squealed. “Aww, hey there, little buddy.” The bird hopped off of the log, strutting around in the loam, bold as you please. “I like this one.”

“They’re pretty common. You’ll see ‘em all over. Even in cities and towns. The only place you don’t really see ‘em is out west.”

They watched the catbird for a moment before it flew off into the trees. “You said they can mimic things?”

“The mockingbird’s the best at it,” said Andy. “How do you think it got the name? The males’ll sing anything they think might get a female’s attention. They can sound like hawks, jays, shoot, I’ve even heard them sing car alarm songs in Southland City.”

“It’s kind of like shapeshifting, but for birds,” said Steven. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Steven,” said Andy seriously, “ _all_ birds are pretty cool.”

“Ha, of course, Uncle Andy.”


	3. hard work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy visits Beach City in the wake of Spinel's attack. Greg and Andy have a chat.

It was a few months before Andy found his way back to Beach City again. He couldn’t say why. Sometimes, it felt good to be back in Delmarva. Other times, it felt like a pair of boots he’d outgrown, a place where ghosts and memories didn’t exactly fit with Gems strolling the countryside and alien buildings rising up above the landscape. 

He’d never liked change. It galled him, the older it got, knowing how much it bothered him. How hard it was for him. Like there was something inside him digging his heels in, resisting anything different as hard as it could. It’d always been like that.

But then people like Greg, they could wander off and change their name, their life, everything. Steven was living proof of that. He missed them, and Aunt Deb and her partner, and the other cousins, scattered to the winds, but sometimes, it was still easier to be on his own.

So he spent a few months flying around the Southern Hemisphere, places he’d visited before, places he’d never heard of. He took odd delivery jobs for food and lodging, traded for field guides of local birds, sent the occasional text message to family in the rare occasions he got service. He sent Steven a blurry picture of a marvellous spatuletail (a lifer!), a Peruvian thick-knee, a tiny dot that he swore was a waved albatross. He was gratified when Steven sent him a few amateur photos of northern cardinals and a nice one of a blue grosbeak. 

And then there weren’t any messages for a few weeks, and Andy got worried.

***

There was a  _ lot _ more change than he’d expected. 

Gems and humans roamed the boardwalk of Beach City, performing construction on storefronts that looked like they’d been through a hurricane. The grass on the lighthouse hill was patchy and bare in many places like it had been burned. And all along the beach were rocks and patches of sand with filmy pink residue on them, caution tape strung up around them, and Gems working feverishly to clean the areas.

Andy had to argue with one particular Gem before they’d let him pass to the beach house, a towering black and white person with a face that reminded him of the sun. “Sorry, it’s not safe for humans,” she said. “It’s snow joke, it’s seriously toxic.” She winked.

“Uh, right,” he said. “But look, Steven’s my nephew and he lives just around the bend. I’m just in town to visit. What the heck happened here?”

“Uncle Andy!” Steven called, hurrying up to him across the sand, carefully avoiding the roped off pink-stained areas. “Oh, man, I’m so sorry you had to see this. We’re working as hard as we can to clean it up.” He closed the distance and catapulted himself into a hug with Andy.

Andy patted him on the head. Had he grown a little more? He looked different, a black t-shirt today instead of a blue one, shadows under his eyes. “You okay, kid?”

“Thanks, Snowflake,” said Steven. “I’ll keep him safe.”

“You got it,” said Snowflake, leaving them alone. Andy watched the massive Gem walk off, shaking his head. Maybe this was one of the former monster Gems Steven had been talking about. She certainly looked less like a normal hippie than the rest of Steven’s family.

“So what happened? I stopped hearing from you and your dad for a while --”

Steven rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. “Ugh. Everything’s been a mess. Basically it turns out that not everyone agreed the Gem war was over. A Gem my mom hurt came to Earth to try to destroy it. We stopped her, mostly, but she still did a lot of damage.”

“Looks like you and your people are fixing it, though. That’s good, right?” Andy asked uncertainly. He listened for the sound of gulls and terns on the air, but all he heard was the breeze and the waves. He let out a long sigh. 

Steven yawned. He really did look exhausted, his hair mussed, his clothes rumpled. “The Gems are taking care of the areas where there’s still detectable bio-poison, but I can’t help with that part. It hurts me, too. But once an area’s clean --” He spotted a patch of bare soil beside them. He licked his hand, then knelt and pressed it to the dirt.

“Uh, Steven --”

The bare soil sprouted over with green and olive moss, shimmering in the sunlight as it grew before his eyes. “Once it’s clean, that’s where I come in,” said Steven, sounding both proud and tired. He straightened up, stretching as he did so. “I’m the only one with healing powers, so, you know, it’s a lot of work. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner,” he said.

Andy crossed his arms, staring at the long stretch of beach, the patchy hillside. “You gotta do  _ all this _ ?”

“Yeah,” said Steven blankly.

“But it wasn’t even your fault.”

“So?”

Andy tried to figure out the words.  _ You’re just a kid _ probably wouldn’t go over well. He tried a variation. “Don’t you got your own stuff to do? You shouldn’t have to do all this work. Not at your age.”

“But I’m the _only_ one who can fix it,” said Steven, a stubborn note creeping into his voice.

“How many hours a day are you doin’ this? Healing the earth?” Andy asked, trying to sound casual.

“Pretty much as soon as I get up until it gets dark,” said Steven. “There’s so  _ much  _ to do _.  _ All the Gems are helping with reconstruction and removing the poison, and I have to do my part, too.”

“Didn’t you say once Gems don’t even sleep?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” asked Steven defensively. “Look, I said I would protect the Earth, and it almost got destroyed on my watch. This is my duty as a Crystal Gem!” He was flushed, his cheeks pink, one hand splayed over the star on his chest.

Andy opened his mouth, then closed it again. Okay, sure, he had to believe him if the kid said he was the only one with this kind of magic, however it all worked. But still. It bugged him how much the kid looked like Greg right now.

Greg, who got more and more quiet during summers at the barn. Greg, who’d been grim and resentful that last summer, constantly fighting with his parents. Greg, who never came back.

There’d been a lot of reasons, he’d learned more recently, that Greg had left them all. This wasn’t exactly the same. But something about Steven’s pinched face and his narrowed eyes made him look  _ so much _ like his dad, and Andy’s stomach clenched.

“Look, kid, I -- this is all over my head,” said Andy. “Just try to be careful. Okay? You seem worn out. Don’t forget you’re part of the Earth, too.” 

Steven’s face relaxed, then creased in a smile. “I know, Uncle Andy. Thanks.” He sighed. “I still have to do a lot of work today. But my dad’s probably free if you want to hang.”

“I’ll go swing by and see if he wants to grab a bite,” said Andy. “Maybe you can join us for dessert or something, huh?”

Steven stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. “Um, maybe. But the ice cream place has been closed down after… after all this happened.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Don’t worry about me, seriously,” said Steven. “Your next visit, everything’s gonna be back to normal. I promise.” He flashed him another grin, and headed back down the beach, his shoulders hunched.

***

Andy pushed his crab cake around on his plate, watching it crumble and flake. Good chunks of crab in there, only the barest minimum of bread needed to keep it shaped. It was decent stuff. Too bad he was hardly hungry. He took another drink of his beer, a crisp lager. 

“So this crazy Gem almost blew up your town? And the Earth?” asked Andy.

Greg took a drink of his own pint, searching for words. “Well, to hear Steven tell it, she wasn’t crazy. Just in a lot of pain. He had a lot of compassion for her. It probably saved his life.”

“Well, hell,” said Andy. “Does this kind of thing happen  _ often? _ I mean, he really could have died, it sounds like.”

Greg nodded, letting out a long breath. “I got hit with that poison myself. I think it actually killed my arm. Thank goodness for Steven’s healing powers; it’s good as new.” He flexed his fist. “Gem stuff’s dangerous. It always has been.”

“But how does Steven always get mixed up in it? I mean, you and me, we ain’t got any magic powers to protect him with, but what about his Gem family?” Andy asked. “You can’t tell me out of all them alien ladies that none of them can fight.”

Greg chuckled, taking a bite from his stuffed blue crab. “Oh, they can fight. But sometimes they’re just plain outmatched. Rose’s family, the Diamonds, they’re  _ literally _ over fifty feet tall. Each.”

“You’re shittin’ me.”

“Promise I’m not. One of them picked me up like I was a toy in the palm of her hand, and kidnapped me to a human zoo in space,” said Greg, nonchalantly taking another drink. “Steven and the Gems had to rescue me. Good thing they did, too, since I accidentally started a riot because I wouldn’t say yes to an arranged marriage in the zoo.”

“Greg! What the hell!”

Greg shrugged. “I’ve seen a lot of weird shit, Andy.”

Andy laughed. “Shoot, Greg, that’s what I always liked about you. Always letting stuff roll right off your back. Does anything ever bother you?”

He knew the answer, though. Remembered Greg’s mom and dad, sweet like pie until he saw them chewing out Greg behind the barn, grinding him down with cruel calm words that weren’t even proper yelling. He’d seen how those words stuck to Greg, a corrosive poison all its own.

He remembered it, but didn’t mention it.

Greg answered him. “What can I say? It’s a gift. So what’s been going on with you?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Flyin’ around wherever the wind takes me. Spent some time in South America for a couple months. Chilly this time of year south of the Equator, but that’s okay. I like the winter weather. It’s quiet, except when it’s fierce as hell,” said Andy. “Sometimes I just need time to myself, you know?”

“I know,” said Greg. He smiled, taking another drink. “You were always like that as a kid. We’d be playing some loud crazy game and you’d be off by yourself, grumping about how loud our made-up songs were.”

“Did not,” protested Andy.

“Nah, you did.”

“Well, so what? Nothing wrong with alone time.”

“C’mon, like I can talk,” said Greg. “I’m the one who ran off and changed my name, aren’t I? Guess I  _ really _ needed some alone time.” He leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. “I’m really glad we reconnected, Andy. I just wish I’d looked for you after Steven was born. I tried writing my folks, but…. They never wrote back. I kinda assumed the rest of the family didn’t want anything to do with us, either.”

“Your folks are stuck-up snobs, though,” said Andy, taking a bite of his crab cake, some of his appetite returning. “It always surprised me, how they had a kid like you. Not that you were a bad kid. Just different. My mom and dad never really got on with them, but they always made the effort because they thought maybe you and me could be friends.”

“Heh. Thanks, Andy. I used to wish sometimes I could’ve had your folks for parents instead. They were good people. At least  _ they _ would have wanted to meet their grandson.” Greg finished his ale, gazing at the waves behind Andy. 

“Your folks are missin’ out,” said Andy. “You got a good kid, Greg. Though I worry about him a little.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dunno. I mean, maybe it’s nothing,” said Andy hastily, not wanting to step on any toes. “Like I said, he’s a good kid. He puts up with me and my birds and all. I think he’s even birding on his own sometimes. How neat is that? But I saw him at the beach today and it seems like he’s runnin’ himself ragged.”

“I know,” said Greg, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hands. “I’m so proud of him, Andy. Like I said, if it wasn’t for his compassion, I think the Earth would have been toast. He’s so kindhearted. But on the other hand, he works so hard. Harder than I’ve ever worked at anything, except maybe raising him. I know he didn’t have a normal childhood, and I didn’t  _ want _ him to, but… I do wonder sometimes, how does he do it?”

“How  _ does _ he?”

“I don’t know,” said Greg, and they fell into a silence, the waves soft and distant in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few more chapters written that just need editing, but I'll be working more over the next few days so may be a bit slower with posting. :)


	4. owling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven's getting busier with Little Homeschool, but Andy has a suggestion that won't cut into his class hours.

Sure enough, things  _ were  _ back to normal by his next visit, several weeks later. Or at least, a new normal. Gems seemed to have moved into town for good now, and Andy supposed that was all right. They seemed happy to be there, and the people seemed happy to have them. It was getting a little less weird every visit.

Steven’s texts had been pretty brief, though. Quick updates on the progress with Little Homeschool, helping Gems get used to life on Earth. Andy hadn’t seen a bird picture from him in weeks, just sporadic things like  _ hey, how’s it going?  _ and  _ Hope things are going well, stay safe up there! _

Andy suspected there wouldn’t be much birding this trip. The plants on the hillside were fully restored, and the beach was back to normal, and he’d even spotted an American oystercatcher sneaking around the rocks near the edge of the beach by Steven’s house. But after spending the day with Greg they still hadn’t managed to catch Steven at home. And tomorrow, Andy had gotten himself a gig from the boardwalk, teaching one of the new Gems to skywrite. He wasn’t sure how long it would take, but it might keep him and Steven from getting together this time.

Andy walked with Greg down the boardwalk back to the carwash in the deepening twilight. “Guess Steven’s still at Little Homeschool,” said Greg. “He’s been working really hard helping the Gems get things set up. I told him you were gonna stop by today, but I guess he got held up. Sorry, Andy. Maybe tomorrow?”

Andy waved his hand. “It’s okay, Greg. I know he’s busy doing big things. I’m proud of the kid.” But there was a little thread of disappointment uncurling in his belly, and he swallowed it back down. “We’ll catch up next time.”

A car pulled up to the carwash ahead of them, flashing its lights. “Oh hey!” said Greg as the car turned off. Beneath the streetlight the door opened, and Steven stepped out into the light.

Andy whistled. “Steven, you’re driving now? What’s this hunka junk Greg’s got you in?”

Greg drew himself up to his full height, looking offended. “Excuse me, Andy, but this is the Dondai Supremo. It’s a  _ beast _ , I’ll have you know.”

“Uncle Andy! Yeah, I got my license a few weeks ago. The test was really hard, but I passed on my first try. I love having the car!” Steven flung his arms out to the sides, eagerly showing the car off. “It’s awesome, right?”

“It’s true,” said Greg proudly. “He loves it. I can hardly get him out of it. I was the same way when I got the van here.” He held out a hand to the van parked beside the carwash.

“Shoot, I can understand that,” said Andy. “Me and my plane and all. Maybe it runs in the family.”

“I’m glad I managed to catch you,” said Steven. He jogged over to meet them and gave him a quick hug, then one for his dad for good measure. “Sorry, I knew you were coming, but I just had so much to do at Little Homeschool today. I brought over a new Gem a few days ago and she’s having a tough time getting used to everything, and it’s all been crazy busy. We’re making it work, though!” 

“Good work, kiddo,” said Greg with a warm smile. “Well hey, do you two wanna catch up? I know it’s been a while.”

“Oh I see how it is, Greg,” said Andy. “Don’t want to hang out with me no more, huh?” He tapped him on the arm with a light punch, laughing.

“No, I’m just getting old,” Greg protested, grinning. “Gotta hit the sack before I pass out.” 

" Greg, man, I’m three years older than you.” Andy smirked at him, but part of him was glad that he’d get at least a little time with Steven. It surprised him more and more, how fond he was getting of the kid.

“So that just means you’re extra old.”

“Daaaaad,” Steven said. 

“I’m going, I’m going,” said Greg. He waved goodnight to them and clambered into his van. Huh. Car, van, plane. Maybe it did run in the family.

“So Steven, sounds like if you ain’t healing the planet, you’re becoming, what, like a principal for space aliens?”

“Uncle Andy, come on,” said Steven, leaning against his car with his arms crossed.

“Sorry, sorry, Gems.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” His face screwed up in concentration. “I mean, I’m the only person in the  _ galaxy _ who’s part human and part Gem. So I think I’m really well-suited to help Gems figure out how to live with humans, since I know both sides, right? It’s up to me to help,” said Steven. He yawned, running a hand through his hair. “Too bad it’s dark. If I’d finished up earlier we could have fit in some birding before the sunset. I miss it. It’s so peaceful.”

“Well, we could always try owling,” said Andy. “Keep in mind it’s a helluva lot harder than birding by day, since they don’t make any sound when they fly, but we could give it a shot. Hardly ever do it myself, I’m not real good at it.”

“Owls? You really think we could find one around here?” asked Steven curiously. “Amethyst shapeshifts into an owl all the time, but I’ve never seen a real one.” He nibbled on his lower lip, apparently deep in thought. “I can’t stay up super late -- Amethyst and I are meeting up tomorrow to talk about jobs for Gems in Beach City -- but we could try it!”

“Well, if you got a thing tomorrow, we’ll just keep it to an hour or two,” said Andy, smiling broadly. He had a thing tomorrow too, but no sense worrying about that. “So tell me, you got any flashlights back at the house?”

***

It only took about half an hour to get suited up, with Steven switching out his pink and white jacket for a dark sweatshirt, finding some flashlights and handkerchiefs to tape over them to dull the light, and grabbing a camera and Steven’s binoculars. Andy decided against going back to the plane for his own, since Steven had to be up early tomorrow. 

They crept into the woods near the Beach City boardwalk, taking care to avoid stepping on twigs or dry brush. They used the muted flashlights to light the way, stopping every few moments to stand still and listen. 

They were about thirty minutes into the woods when a low  _ hoo hoodoo, hoo, hoo _ echoed faintly through the black trees. Andy stiffened, nudging Steven with an elbow. “Great horned owl,” he whispered. “Maybe we can find it.”

“I never knew there were owls out here!” Steven breathed. “I’ve been in these woods a ton of times, but --”

“Shh!” Andy whispered, as much, much nearer came an answering series of hoots. The deep hoots were resonant, rich and warm, and maybe twenty or thirty feet away. “They’re talking to each other… have to see if we can find the closer one.” He took a few careful steps, Steven beside him, towards the sound of the nearer owl, then waited.

Steven cupped his hands over his ears, listening hard. Andy turned off his flashlight to give his eyes time to adjust. Luckily there was a full moon tonight, swinging high above the treetops, its silvery light leaving little speckles on the dirt and leaves beneath their feet. 

Andy scanned the branches above. “Look for weird lumps,” he whispered to Steven out of the side of his mouth. “Bumps on a branch that seem bigger than the branch itself. A shadow that seems out of place. Owls are hard as hell. Sometimes you can only see ‘em where the pattern of the trees  _ isn’t. _ ”

_ Hoo hoodoo, hoo, hoo  _ called the distant bird.  _ Hoo hoodoo, hoo, hoo  _ answered the near one. So close! He scanned the branches, searching, searching.

“Is -- is that --” Steven said softly. Andy followed the line of Steven’s pointing arm, squinting at the straight line of the pine branch, and then, there, the break in the pattern -- that vertical solid shape -- two feathery tufts at the very top --

“You found it!” Andy exclaimed, as quietly as he could, given the sudden surge of excitement he felt. Beside him Steven was practically vibrating, his eyes widening with sheer joy. The moonlight glinted in them, reflecting his glee. 

Before the bird could take wing, Andy shoved the binoculars back into Steven’s hands. “Go on, take a look.”

“Don’t you want to look first, Uncle Andy?” asked Steven, hesitating, taking his eyes off the owl at last and glancing at Andy in the moonlight.

“Nah, you found it, you get first look,” said Andy, his voice hushed but still swelling with pride. “You done good, Steven. You know how hard it is to spot an owl even in the daytime?”

“Thanks, Uncle Andy,” said Steven slowly. He hefted the binoculars to his eyes and looked, fingers adjusting the focus, and for a moment he was silent, watching the owl. Andy and Steven stood together soundlessly, breathing in, breathing out, both of them rapt in concentration.

_ Hoo hoodoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, _ crooned the far owl, and suddenly the near owl spread its wings, gliding out of the tree in perfect silence and winging its way to join its mate. Andy watched its silhouette go, and beside him, Steven sighed, “Wow.”

“Wow’s right,” agreed Andy. He couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Owling is hard as hell, just so y'all know. I have been birding for 12 years and I have seen in the wild 1 Short-eared Owl and approximately 7 Great Horned Owls, and that is ALL! It's really difficult!


	5. the accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an accident on the beach, and Andy looks for someone to blame.

_Falling --_

_They’re falling, the smoke’s choking him, the plane’s ablaze --_

_He screams in wordless terror, the wind whipping the air from his throat --_

_The ocean rushes up to meet him, the sky fails him, this is it, this is the freaking end,_ **_no_ ** _\--_

And suddenly Andy wasn’t falling anymore. A huge Gem, bigger than Snowflake Obsidian clutching the plane for dear life, was carefully bringing them down in a net. Ice bloomed around Snowflake’s hands, bringing with it a chill that Andy barely noticed. Andy just sat in the back seat panting, his breath ragged gulps. _I almost died, I almost died, I --_

His head swam. His vision blurred. He couldn’t tell who had come to their rescue. He blinked, trying to clear his sight, his eyes dried from the fierce winds of the fall. He squinted at them. It looked kinda like the Gem Amethyst, but then why were they wearing Steven’s jacket around their waist?

The plane settled safely into the sand, and Andy stared straight ahead, shivering. Snowflake literally seemed just as frozen.

The strange Gem who’d saved them hurriedly leaned in, grinning with a manic, nervous energy. They looked so familiar, even in his haze, their smile so much like Steven’s. “Hey guys! You cool? Get it? Because of the ice.” They laughed, their face looking close to the panic Andy felt. “No, but seriously, I’m so sorry. Are you guys okay?”

Andy’s neck bent forward, just slightly, a motion he used to remember how to make. A nod. Snowflake did the same.

“Phew. That’s good.” But before Andy could start to say a thing, screams in the distance filtered into his awareness, and the strange Gem took off running. It was only as they left that Andy realized they had three arms. Hell. Nothing surprised him anymore.

Before them, the waves rolled in and out again, placid and calm despite the crashing sounds in the distance. Andy watched them for what seemed like ages, his mind utterly blank.

Slowly he became aware that someone was talking to him. He blinked, his focus shifting to the other occupant of the plane. “Uh… Andy?” Snowflake asked, having turned to face him. The Gem looked shaken. “Are you all right? I’m so sorry --”

Andy stared at the stricken Gem. A leaden and terrible realization seeped past the panic, leaching into his bones. “My… my plane,” he whispered. “My _plane!_ ”

He buried his face in his hands, and wept.

***

“They’ll fix the plane, Andy,” said Greg an hour later, his arm draped over Andy’s shoulders. They sat on the bench at the boardwalk, watching Gems carry away hunks of the fuselage. “Bismuth said she and Peridot are on it. Peridot knows all about devices and machinery and Bismuth can build anything. Pearl can help too, she’s rebuilt the van practically from rubble more than once. And anything they can’t fix, I’ll pay for. Promise.”

Andy slumped against his cousin, shaking his head. “You were right.”

“About what?”

“Gem stuff. It’s always dangerous, ain’t it?” He shook off Greg’s arm, staring between his feet at the sandy ground below. “Shit, Greg. I coulda died. I’ve had some close calls flyin’ before, but never, _never_ anything like that.”

“I’m so sorry, Andy. What _did_ happen, anyway? I was working on a wash when I saw the smoke and came running,” said Greg, frowning.

Andy shrugged, his hands trembling. “I was teachin’ Gems how to fly. Nephrite did great… guess she used to be a pilot back in the day. But Steven thought we should give Snowflake the chance to learn, and she panicked, and I couldn’t get us back up -- we were goin’ down --” He let out a shaky breath. “Hey, where is Steven, anyway? Or that Gem that got us back down?”

“You mean Smoky Quartz?” asked Greg. “I could see them way up there with you, coming down, before I got to the beach. That’s Steven and Amethyst’s fusion.”

Andy squinted. “You mean like at the wedding? When the two ladies turned into Garnet? _Steven_ can do that?”

Greg blushed. “Yeah. _I_ even fused with him, once. Back when Beach City was attacked.”

“Say what now?” Andy asked, his eyebrows vanishing under his cap. It was nice to focus on something besides his plane for a second. “ _You,_ Gregory DeMayo, turned into a magic person. Don’t tell me you grew an extra arm or something.”

“We had _four,_ ” Greg laughed, his eyes shining. “It was -- I don’t even have the words to describe it, Andy. Fusion’s like… you’re bigger than yourself, you’re _more,_ you’re the _relationship_ between the two of you -- I never felt anything like it. It was amazing, really being the person Steven thinks I am, and being that _with_ him.”

Andy shook his head, trying to take in what Greg was telling him. He couldn’t imagine. “Sounds like… like it really touched you,” he said finally.

“Yeah.” Greg smiled, staring off into the distance. “Oh! Hey, speak of the Steven. There’s that boy of mine.”

Andy looked up, watching Steven approach down the boardwalk, hands in his jacket pockets, his head hung low. The rest of the boardwalk looked like it was getting back to normal. Amethyst and a little blue Gem were talking to some humans, all of them looking relieved. Andy was glad that they, at least, were gonna be fine.

Steven stopped a few feet away from them, his head still hung low. Even from this distance, Andy could see he was tense. And for a moment Andy felt roaring up within him a sick sense of righteousness, mixed with flickers of blazing anger. 

_Good_ , he thought. The kid _should_ feel like crap. His plane -- his _home_ \-- was destroyed. He’d almost _died._ And it had been Steven’s idea for some alien who didn’t know the ass end of a plane from the nose to fly it, just for a _lark_ \--

“Andy,” Greg said in a low voice. “You know he didn’t mean for this to happen --”

“Lemme talk to him, Greg. I got something to say,” growled Andy.

Andy got to his feet, hands curled tight in fists, nails digging into his palms. His mouth begged to open, begged to yell and rage and rant, but -- he glowered, thrummed, keeping his mouth shut -- this was Steven, after all -- he was _family_ \-- and savior of the galaxy or not, he was still a _kid --_

Aw, hell. Andy knew what this was. 

This was an accident _._

Andy took a few deep breaths through his nose, the anger draining away. He glanced back at Greg and gave him a rueful half-smile. Greg nodded, clearly relieved.

Andy turned back to Steven, but before he could say anything, Steven looked up at him. His eyes were red and puffy, swimming with tears he tried his best to blink back. He scrubbed at his face with his jacket sleeve, leaving his cheeks pink and blotchy. “Uncle Andy, I’m so sorry about your plane,” he stammered. “You could’ve been really hurt -- you must be so mad at me --”

“C’mere, c’mere,” said Andy gruffly. He reached out with stiff arms, gave Steven the most uncomfortable hug he’d ever given him. The kid was suddenly all elbows, or maybe that was him. “Accidents happen.”

His nephew clung to him, sniffing occasionally. “I was just trying to help Snowflake Obsidian and the other Gems find some meaning, I guess,” Steven said, his voice muffled against Andy’s shoulder. “I thought I could help them, and help people like you get more comfortable with them, and I -- I never thought any of this would happen, I’m supposed to _help_ people, not scare them or get them hurt --”

Andy flinched at _people like you_ , though he had to admit the kid kinda had a point. Not like he’d been all that welcoming to Steven’s family at first. He patted Steven’s back, the awkwardness slowly retreating. “Well, uh, don’t beat yourself up about it. You and Amethyst got us down safe in the end.”

“I should have known better,” Steven muttered. “If something happened to you, Uncle Andy, I’d never forgive myself.”

“I won’t pretend it didn’t scare the hell out of me,” said Andy begrudgingly. “But your uncle’s a tough nut. I’m okay.” _Now. Not so much then._

Steven shuddered. “I don’t know if I could do it again,” he whispered under his breath.

“Do what, again?” Andy asked.

Steven pulled back, wiping his face again. His eyes were dry now. “Nothing. He’s fine now, I brought him back,” said Steven cryptically. “But I can’t -- I don’t ever want to see that again.”

“Right,” said Andy, squinting at his nephew. _Do what again? ‘Brought him back?’ The hell is he talking about?_ But he didn’t know how the hell to ask Steven if he’d seen someone get hurt bad before, if he’d seen someone _die_ , so he didn’t. Safer not to. He patted Steven’s shoulder. “Look, just… maybe start your Gem folk off with some less dangerous stuff first. Just ‘til they get a little more used to Earth. Yeah? And remind ‘em we humans are a little more breakable than they are.”

Steven nodded fervently. “For sure. I think I got carried away.” He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “I just didn’t want the Gems to feel like they had to be who they were back on Homeworld. The Diamonds put everyone in these little boxes and that’s all they could ever be. I didn’t want people to feel stuck like that.” He sighed. “But Snowflake was afraid to fly in the first place, and I should have never pushed her into that. And I shouldn’t have begged you to give her a chance. I’m so sorry.”

“You say the Gems don’t age, right? That these people are thousands of years old?” Andy asked. Weird how his brain was starting to wrap itself around stuff like that these days. 

“Yeah.”

“Well then, it’s not like they gotta learn everything about Earth in a day, right? Or a week? They got the time. You can slow stuff down for ‘em, if they need it,” said Andy. “Least, that’s how it seems to me.”

Steven gave him a weary smile. “I guess you’re right.”

“Your old uncle Andy does get a good idea, now and then,” said Andy.

“Oh!” said Steven suddenly. “In all the craziness, I forgot to tell you.” He smiled sheepishly. “When Smoky floated up to rescue you guys… I think I saw a greater black-backed gull. Flying a little ways out from the shore. Do you think it could have been one? I know the book says they come down here, but I wasn’t sure.”

Andy laughed softly, chest swelling with pride. “Yeah. I saw it, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed a lot in _Guidance_ when Smoky Quartz rescued Andy and Snowflake. In the context of this story I felt a lot differently. Poor Andy. Poor Steven. Hell, poor Snowflake!
> 
> I have to work for the next several days so it may be a little while until I post the next chapter, but I have 6-8 written and just need to edit them. It's looking like there will be 10, maybe 11 chapters total. Really having fun with this and I'm so glad others like it too!


	6. rare bird alert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rare bird alert's been issued in Delmarva, but disappointment strikes. Andy sees Greg's new look for the first time.

True to their word, the Gems had his plane rebuilt and repaired within a few short days. Andy spent most of the time walking along the shore and into the woods, keeping his eyes and ears peeled for birds, but he also spent some of it catching up with Greg. He only saw Steven briefly after that, and most of that at Little Homeworld.

He hadn’t been sure he was up to checking it out, seeing how the land had been changed and transformed since the old days. He’d glimpsed it on his flights out this way, but had avoided flying directly overhead.

It wasn’t quite as hard as he’d thought it would be. The Gem buildings were all so odd and interesting that it was hard to remember exactly where this hill had been or where that tree had stood. There were still a lot of woods left around the settlement, though, and that had really taken him back; games of hide and seek with the cousins still echoed in those trees. He grinned, laying a hand on the trunk of the home tree; it still stood here proudly, bigger and more gnarled than it used to be, but all the cousins’ initials were still visible, plain as day. He’d have to show it to Steven sometime.

But in the town itself, it was a changed world. Steven hurried back and forth throughout the paths of the little neighborhood, everyone calling out to him, eager for his attention. Andy watched in fascination from the corner of his eye as Pearl gave him a tour. 

Steven’s family seemed to treat him mostly the same, from what Andy could tell -- allowing for the fact he was an honest-to-goodness teenager now -- but the others, the new Gems, they all looked at Steven like he was the  _ sun. _ Almost like the kid was a magnet somehow, putting out some kind of energy that made the new Gems follow him, all the way from tiny ones the size of his fist to giants that towered over him. Maybe it was the fact it seemed like Steven had ended that ancient Gem war he’d heard a few things about. Then there was that Greg had said Steven’s mom was some kind of royalty. He couldn’t name it. But he watched the way Gems turned to Steven like sunflowers angling to the light, and he wondered.

Huh. Whatever it was, it didn’t make sense to Andy. Didn’t they know he was just a kid? A good kid, a decent kid, a kid with some magic powers, sure, but… didn’t they know he was just Steven?

He flew off a few days later after saying goodbye to Steven and Greg and thanking Pearl, Peridot and Bismuth for their help with the plane. Snowflake Obsidian had stopped by, too, shyly apologizing to him one last time. But all was forgiven: the plane was better than new, he had to admit.

Troubling questions about Steven and the school vanished in the blessed freedom of the cold fall air. The wind whipped past him, the plane’s propeller a sweet familiar drone in his ears, and he flew a loop de loop over Little Homeworld as he left.

***

He meant to head back to Beach City sooner. It’d been two or three months since the disastrous day at the boardwalk, and he was itching to see Greg and Steven again. He’d spent a good week with Deb and her partner Alice, and visited a couple cousins that had moved over to the West Coast. But somehow the calendar passed him by quicker than he’d realized, and it wasn’t until the first snow hit Beach City that he started his way back.

He glanced through his phone while waiting for the plane to refuel a hundred miles out of town, scanning through the local Delmarva rare bird alert for the week. He scrolled through it idly, then stopped, staring at one entry in particular.

_ Snowy Owl continuing, reported off Route 2 near Ocean Town, hunting open fields past the intersection of Blue Crab Road and -- _

Hell. The kid wouldn’t get a chance to see something like this for another decade. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a Snowy Owl hit Delmarva. Must’ve run into some terrible weather in the Great North to flush this far south.

He fumbled the phone, calling Steven’s number. Hopefully Beach City wasn’t snowed out.

Steven picked up after three rings. “Uncle Andy?” he asked in surprise. “Are you here already?” 

"Hey, kid. I’m refueling over in Keystone, but I just got word there’s a rare bird outta Ocean Town, a snowy owl. We  _ never  _ see ‘em down here. You free? The rare bird alert says it’s continuing, might be there for another day or two.” He hoped he didn’t sound as overexcited as he felt.

There was an uncomfortable pause on the other end. “I -- I really want to -- but my schedule’s really full today, though. We lost a lot of time getting snowed out this week. I had to cancel some classes and --”

He could hear a voice in the background, maybe Amethyst. “Hey man -- don’t forget you need to take some time for yourself, too --”

“Yeah, I know, Amethyst -- but we’re really backed up right now, we need to catch up, okay? Then I can relax a little,” said Steven in a muffled voice. “Ugh, sorry, Uncle Andy. What time are you gonna be there? I can try to meet you there after we get done with classes. I should be done around five?”

Andy stifled a sigh. If the owl was still there, it’d be leaving about then to start its nightly hunting. Still, though, they might catch it roosting for a while before it took off for the evening. “Okay. I’ll get there around four-thirty and see if I can get the lay of the land. Usually there’ll be other birders around for a rarity like this, so I’ll check with ‘em and find the best spot… I’ll shoot you a text when I know for sure, but for now I’ll send you some info from the RBA.”

“RBA?”

“Rare bird alert. I’ll let you get back to your school and all, but I’ll see ya then?”

“Of course,” said Steven. A little sigh, so quiet he almost missed it. “See you then, Uncle Andy.”

***

  
  


It was cold as hell, waiting out in the field for the snowy owl as the sun set. At least the spot had been easy to find. A cluster of fellow birders had spread themselves along the fenceline of the snow-covered field the owl had claimed, and their spotting scopes and bundled up figures made for an obvious target. Andy had talked with a few of them, learning that the owl had been there for a few days, that it seemed to favor the east end of the field near the stand of leafless blackgum trees, that it usually took wing shortly after sunset. Andy gnawed the edge of his lip, hoping the kid was gonna manage to make it.

He stood a little ways back from the other birders. He always liked talking with them for a few minutes, sharing sightings and tidbits, but after that, he usually fell silent. Sometimes you just needed to say the important stuff, and forget the small talk.

A hubbub arose suddenly, excited cries carrying crisply through the dry winter air. “There!” a voice called, and heads turned with flashing lenses in unison. Andy followed them, raising the binoculars swiftly to his eyes, and let his mouth drop open in an appreciative sigh.  _ Ahhhh. Gorgeous.  _

The snowy owl winged its way over the blue-shadowed snowy field, each wingbeat perfectly silent. Andy watched it, his heart swelling. He’d only seen snowy owls up in the Great North, and he’d been half-convinced they were hallucinations brought on by the extreme cold. This time, though, he was sure of the sighting down to his toes. He wished Steven was there, beaming that brilliant smile.

His phone vibrated. He lowered his binoculars but kept watching the owl out of the corner of his eye. He snapped a quick blurry picture of the owl -- it’d do for identification, anyway -- and checked to see if Steven was near.

In the deepening twilight the brightness of the phone screen blinded him. It took him a moment to read what Steven had texted.

_ I’m so sorry, Uncle Andy! I haven’t been able to get away from Little Homeschool yet. Things are really backed up and I need to stay for another class. It ends at seven thirty. Is that too late to see the owl? _

Andy was already shivering. His heart sank. He didn’t have the gear to stay out another three hours, and besides, the other birders had told him the owl usually retreated into the woods on private property by that time of night. There’d be no point. 

He pulled off the glove of one hand to send a message back.  _ It’s okay. Knew it was spur of the moment anyway. Doesn’t sound like the owl will stick around that long. You still up for dinner with your old man and me later tonight? _

A few moments. Andy stared glumly at the screen, glancing up occasionally. The owl was a small white smudge on a darkened crest of snow. Dammit, it wasn’t fair.

Steven’s next text made his mouth twist up.  _ I’m so sorry, I forgot. I already made plans with some of the Gems tonight to help on one of their projects. I can move some things around tomorrow though -- _

Andy sighed, his breath a white cloud. He glanced up, and the owl was gone. Some of the other birders were already breaking down their scopes. “I think she’s headed out for the night,” said one of them, carrying his scope back to his car. 

_ Nah, you got your own stuff going on. It’s okay, I understand. I’ll bug you next time I’m in town.  _ He tried to pick a smiley face, and settled on one that looked a helluva lot more cheery than he felt.

He shoved his phone in his pocket, trudging back to where he’d landed the plane, shivering in the bleak night air.

***

He warmed up some at the pizza place waiting for Greg, though his toes still felt half-frozen in his boots. The disappointment about Steven not getting to see the owl was beginning to fade, but it still seethed quietly, regret mixed with worry that maybe Steven hadn’t really had other plans. Maybe he was being too pushy. A decade mostly on his own, maybe he was coming off too desperate to connect to family. He brooded over a pint of pale ale, wondering if Steven was just too polite to say he wasn’t interested.

The door opened, bringing with it a frigid breeze. Greg tromped in, bundled up in a thick scarf and an enormous hat with earflaps twice the size of Andy’s. He raised a mittened hand in greeting and Andy nodded.

“How goes it, Greg?” asked Andy. A Gem with a giant lobster claw gave them both menus and a big smile. Andy blinked. Okay. So some of ‘em had lobster claws.

“Oh, you know how it is,” said Greg, unwrapping his scarf and hanging it over the back of his chair with the jacket. He sat down, still wearing his hat. 

Andy raised his eyebrows, his own hat hanging off the back of his chair. “You gonna leave that on?”

“Oh, man -- ahhh, you were gonna find out anyway,” said Greg sheepishly. He pulled the hat off, and Andy realized --

“Your  _ hair _ , Greg!”

Greg ran a hand through the hair, a tiny fraction of what there used to be. It barely reached past his chin. He looked down at his menu, not meeting Andy’s eyes, his shoulders tense. “Yeah, I know.”

“You tryin’ something new? Tryin’ to impress the ladies? Or the dudes? You know, whatever.”

Greg laughed, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t think anyone’s impressed with this hatchet job. Or knife job, technically. Had to cut it myself a few weeks ago.” 

“Why’d you do something crazy like that? I mean, I know I’m always tellin’ you to get a haircut, but I kinda meant a real one,” laughed Andy.

“I didn’t really have much of a choice,” said Greg, and Andy’s smile flickered, then faded. “Bluebird -- these two Gems who hate Steven, fused together -- kind of tried to kill me last month. Like, had me dangling over the edge of the roof of Steven’s house, threatening me with a knife, tried to kill me,” said Greg, his voice skewing bitter. “I got the knife away from Ruby and hacked off my hair to escape.”

“Shit,” said Andy, whistling. Gems coming after  _ his family _ ? Oh, they’d better not try it on his watch, magic powers or no. “They tried to kill  _ you specifically? _ But you ain’t even a Gem!”

Greg shrugged. “They wanted to hurt Steven. They knew that would do it.” His face, normally ruddy, looked pale. 

One of the twins came up to their table, a bright smile on her face. Probably Jenny, then, she was usually a lot more cheery than Kiki. “Hey there, Mr. Universe, Mr. DeMayo. You guys catchin' up again? What would you like?”

“Anything’s fine,” Greg muttered. “Anything sound good to you?”

“Uh, the usual,” said Andy. “And another round for me, and one for this guy.” He jerked a thumb at Greg, who didn’t protest. Jenny nodded and took their menus.

Andy stared at his cousin, trying to reconcile the short choppy hair with the Greg he’d gotten used to over the past few years. It’d been a shock to first see Greg at the barn with hair down past his waist, but this was an even bigger adjustment. 

“Greg, that… that sucks,” said Andy, at a loss. “I can’t believe people’d wanna hurt you or Steven at all. You guys are good people.”

“That doesn’t always matter,” said Greg, resting his chin on his hand.

“It should. It ought to! If the damn world made any sense.” 

“Oh, I’m used to never knowing what’s going on,” Greg admitted. “Gem stuff’s always gone over my head, and the more I learn the more confused I get.”

“Huh. Yeah, I feel you there,” said Andy fervently. “Glad you weren’t hurt though. Except for the hair, I guess.” Andy considered. “You remember how I lost my damn mind when my plane went down.”   


“I thought of that, actually,” said Greg. “It’s not just a plane, is it? Like the barn wasn’t just the barn, either. I know I got off easy, I can’t imagine what Steven would have done if something had really happened…” His face darkened, shadows ringing his eyes. “But honestly, Andy, it was a lot, losing that hair.”

“Why do you think I wear that pilot’s cap?” Andy asked, waving a hand at where his cap rested on the back of his chair. “I mean, it does look cool, but I miss my hair too, man.”

Greg smiled ruefully. “There’s that, and then… At first growing it out was a way to tell my parents to go to hell. Later on, it just started to mean… me. A rocker.  _ Mr. Universe _ . And that was someone I really wanted to be. Especially when…”

He wiped at his face with one hand, still keeping his eyes on the tablecloth instead of meeting Andy’s gaze. “Hey, did I ever tell you how I met Rose?”

Greg had. Loads of times. The harvest dinner at the barn, the first time they’d seen each other in twenty years. The first couple visits after the dinner. On the way to Korea. At Garnet’s wedding. He could see it in his mind’s eye, Greg the long-haired rocker singing about meteorites and comets, winning the heart of a stunning eight-foot-tall pink lady from the stars. 

“Nah, I don’t think so,” said Andy. The waitress returned with their beers, and Andy settled up to listen to his cousin with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love trying to find birds thanks to rare bird alerts from the local Audubon Society. It's how I found a Painted Redstart walking distance from my apartment in Los Angeles when normally it's only found in higher elevation regions of New Mexico and Arizona. Snowy Owls are only rarely sighted in the lower 48, usually only during incredibly harsh winters which drive their food sources south.
> 
> As you may guess, this episode takes place very shortly after Snow Day, and the troubling Steven stuff continues. :-( But hey, Greg's here! I guess I wasn't done writing Greg haircut angst. XD


	7. the double-crested cormorant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven spots a bird in need. Andy's more worried about somebody else.
> 
> Set around In Dreams.

He had a bad feeling, coming up the stairs.

Spring was well on its way in Beach City, and today was one of those unseasonable warm days liable to trick you into thinking it was summer before a hailstorm rolled in. The snow had long left the beach behind, but Andy hadn’t been back since that day near New Year’s, with the snowy owl. 

He didn’t know what to make of this, the weirdness going on with Greg and Steven. Greg, hurt and shaken by the Gems that had attacked him. Steven, too busy for family -- and maybe it was normal at this age, maybe it was even more normal because Steven hadn’t even grown up with a regular family, but it still felt off. And now Steven said he had the time to hang out, but he didn’t really feel like going out, and did Andy want to just come to the house and ‘chill’?

Steven not feeling like going out… Andy had never met someone so extroverted in all his life, and that just didn’t seem to track.

Still, though. If he was that busy running his school, maybe he just didn’t have the energy to go out hiking all day. That seemed fair enough.

Andy stumped up the stairs. Before he’d reached the porch a small voice greeted him. “Hey, Uncle Andy.”

He glanced up, catching Steven sitting under the umbrella at the little table on the porch, his arms crossed, his jacket sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Andy wondered how long he’d been waiting.

“Oh hey there, kid. How’s it goin’?”

Steven shrugged. “It goes. Whatever ‘it’ is.” He gave Andy a big smile, one that didn’t really reach his eyes. 

Andy joined him at the table, sitting down and tossing his jacket over the back of the chair. Phew. It was getting warm out there.

“You got the day off from school?”

“Hm? Oh. Uh, I’m not -- I retired from Little Homeschool,” said Steven. Something complicated was happening on his face, a twisting up of his mouth. He wouldn’t look at Andy directly. “It… just wasn’t my calling, I don’t think.”

“Oh,” said Andy, surprised. The kid had seemed like he had thrown himself into it like crazy. “I thought it was kinda your thing now. Your dad said you were doing a really good job. And I saw the way everyone looks up to you over there.”

Steven fidgeted with his hands, fingers knotting together. “I guess so. Graduation was hard, though. And it all started being… overwhelming?” He rumpled his hair up in the back with one hand, curls going everywhere, Andy only a little envious. Ah, youth. “I just had to stop.”

“So what are you up to these days instead?” asked Andy, trying to puzzle it out. “Hangin’ out with your friends? Gettin’ to see Connie more? Quality time with the family? Or maybe ...addin’ to your life list?” he asked with a nudge of his elbow.

“I haven’t been out birding since the great horned owl,” Steven admitted. He tried to smile. “I -- everyone’s really busy right now,” he said in a low voice. “The Gem war’s over, you know? Everything’s better, everyone has new things they’re doing. The future’s bright. I’m just... not sure what I’m supposed to do in it.”

“Well, that ain’t so bad,” said Andy. “Seems like you’ve already done a crapload of good stuff for the world. Hell, the universe. Maybe this is your time to take a break.”

“Hm,” said Steven. He fell silent.

Andy settled back in his chair, considering. This  _ was _ a weird mood for Steven. At least, as far as Andy knew him. He’d hoped, over the past couple years, that they were starting to get to know each other. This made him feel… uneasy, maybe, was the word for it. And he didn’t know why. Kids deserved to be moody! They deserved to do stupid shit and think they knew everything and get into trouble, not too much, just a little. But this didn’t feel like that kind of thing. He wasn’t sure what it was.

“You’ve always been a pilot, right?” Steven asked. “How’d you know that’s what you wanted to be?”

“I -- oh, I always knew I wanted to be a pilot. But that’s cheatin’, since I had some pilots in the family already. Made it easy to want to do that. I didn’t really know other people who knew what they wanted to do, not at your age,” said Andy. “If that’s what you’re gettin’ at.”

“I’ve always been around the Gems,” said Steven. “I thought that’s what I’m supposed to be. A Crystal Gem, like my mom. But it doesn’t…  _ feel _ right anymore.” He drifted back into silence before he sat bolt upright, jerking up from the half-slumped position he’d slid into. “Oh jeez, I’m being a terrible host. You need anything? Snacks? Bathroom? Drinks?”

“Nah, I’m good,” said Andy. “I got a snack over at that pastry place you were tellin’ me about a while back. Didn’t see your friend there this time, though. The pink guy. Lars, right?”

Steven’s hands clenched momentarily. “He decided he wanted to go back to space,” Steven muttered. “ _ He _ knew what he wanted to do.”

“Hey, hey, you okay? What’s up with you?” Andy asked, frowning.

“Nothing’s up with me,” said Steven hastily. “I just -- sometimes I wish things wouldn’t change. That’s all.” He stared past Andy to the front wall of his house. Andy glanced at it out of the corner of his eye, unsure of what he was looking at. Did the wood look newer, somehow? Like it’d been replaced?

“Yeah, but you’re  _ supposed _ to be trying to figure stuff out at this age,” said Andy. “Stuff’s not clear at all when you’re a teenager. Sucks a lot of the time, if I remember right.” 

A small laugh. “Yeah, it kinda does, I guess.”

“I  _ know  _ it does,” said Andy, jabbing at himself with his thumb. “You think this guy had any friends in high school? Or got good grades? You think I’m awkward now, you don’t even wanna know what I was like then. And don’t get me started on your dad in high school. Greg always had something he was gettin’ in trouble for. Nah, take it from your old uncle, Steven, being a teenager sucks.”

“Well, I wish it would knock it off,” Steven grumbled.

“So what do you wanna do today?” Andy asked. “You wanna sit up here and mope, we can do that. Sometimes moping’s just what you wanna do. But if you wanna head out, spring migration’s coming on soon, might see some good birds.”

“Thought you said all birds are good birds,” said Steven slyly.

“Ohhh, I see what you did there,” Andy chuckled. “So what’s it gonna be?”

Steven shrugged. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, checked it momentarily, stuffed it into his pocket. “I’m pretty tired,” he said, shoulders slumping. “I keep having these weird -- I’m not sleeping great. Maybe I’m just trying to figure out a new schedule since Little Homeschool’s over.”

“We don’t have to go nowhere,” said Andy. But he wondered how to do this uncle thing without something in the middle, something to talk about, the glue of birding and hiking and seeking and finding. He wanted to be up to the task. He just wasn’t certain that he could know what to say to bring Steven up out of his funk, not when he was still learning who Steven was. They’d come a long way, but it wasn’t the same as if he’d been there from the beginning, and he knew it.

He fidgeted with his hands, trying to sort out what to do. Would Steven do better if Andy teased him out of it? Did he want some kinda heart-to-heart? Did he want to be distracted? He felt like no matter what the answer was, he was messing it up.

“But how are you doing, Uncle Andy? I’m sorry. I’m like totally monopolizing the conversation.”

Andy hesitated. He wasn’t sure what to do if the kid didn’t want to talk, since Andy had no idea how to talk about himself unless it was stuff he liked. Like birding. Nostalgia. Flying. That sort of thing. But if that’s what Steven wanted, he could give it a try.

“Well, I’ve been doing just fine. Flew through Texahoma visiting your… what would she be, great-aunt? I don’t know. I just call her Aunt Deb, and her partner Alice. They got an RV and they cruise around everywhere. Anyway, met up with them near the border and got to visit with ‘em a while while scoping out scissor-tailed flycatchers and elegant trogons."

"That's right," said Steven. "I think I remember the pictures. Those were really pretty birds."

"We oughta get out of Delmarva sometime for birds," said Andy, "'specially if you're finished with school. Nice part of not bein' tied down. That's why Aunt Deb and Alice never stay anywhere too long. They don’t mind roamin' around… maybe none of us do, come to think of it. Maybe the weird thing isn’t that your dad ran off and changed his name. Maybe the weirder thing’s that he stayed in Beach City. I’ll have to give him some crap for that.”

“Why do you always tease him?” Steven asked. “I mean, Amethyst always teases me, and sometimes I love it, but….”

“‘Cause he’s Greg!” said Andy. “One, I missed out on a good twenty years of buggin’ him. Two… well, it’s hard to say. He was always dreamin’ these crazy big dreams, and half the time they’d never go nowhere, but there he’d be with stars in his eyes just dreamin’ away. I dunno. Sometimes you just gotta make fun of someone a  _ little _ bit for that.”

“Why?”

Andy huffed. “I -- I don’t know. It’s just what you do, with cousins or siblings. Friendly fire, y’know?” Was it so friendly, though? He wasn’t exactly sure, now. He sat back and took a moment. This was Steven’s thing, wasn’t it? The way he could make you think about things you’d never thought of before. Maybe he’d been a little hard on Greg. Maybe he still was.

“I don’t know what that’s like,” said Steven, shrugging. “Only child, remember? And only half human.” His voice got very quiet at the end.

“No  _ only _ about it,” said Andy firmly. “Yeah, you got your magic powers and your Gem family and all, and that’s important, but you’re still as human as they come. Just one man’s opinion.”

Steven chuckled. “Huh. Thanks, Uncle Andy.” He glanced back at the beach, then leaned forward. “Hey, is that a bird out there? On that little bit of sand?”

Andy squinted, then rummaged in his knapsack for his binoculars. It took him a moment to find what Steven was angling at. “Yeah, looks like a double-crested cormorant out there. Only... “ The bird stood on a narrow sandbar, wings held out to dry, head angled up. “Aw, shit. I mean, shoot. Looks like he got tangled up in some fishline, got some wrapped around his leg.” Andy passed the binoculars to Steven, shaking his head. “Hate to see that.”

Steven pressed the binoculars hard against his face. “Well, let’s go help it!”

Andy raised his eyebrows. “And how do you think we’re gonna do that?”

Steven lowered the binoculars, looking determined. “You’ve got a plane, I can float, we’ll figure something out --”

Andy waved his hand out to the rolling waves. The sandbar stood empty, the bird nowhere to be seen. “Where’d he go? He can dive, swim, fly -- it’s sweet you wanna help him, but birds are hard. I’ve found a couple injured birds in my time, and they gotta be in pretty rough shape before you can ever get close to ‘em. Usually they act like they don’t even know they been hurt. Makes it impossible to get to them to help.”

Steven stared out at the water, getting to his feet and leaning over the railing. He took a deep breath, hands tightening around the binoculars, and  _ leaped -- _

“Holy shit, kid!” Andy hollered as his nephew hovered above the water, scanning the waves with the binoculars even as he floated. “Be careful up there!” Andy ripped his hat off, rubbing a hand over his hair anxiously. Jeez, what was he  _ doing _ ? It had terrified Andy back at their first meeting, and it was no different now. He watched Steven, heart pounding.

Steven hung above the waves, no wings, no plane, no nothing but himself, his pink jacket flapping in the wind. Andy stared at him from below, hoping desperately the kid’s magic wouldn’t fail him. 

Up above him, Steven lowered the binoculars, then slowly floated back toward the house. He descended lightly, landing on the porch as if he’d just been walking around like normal, easy as you please.

Andy let out a long, shuddering breath. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that,” he said, shaking his head. “Phew. Glad you’re back on solid ground.”

Steven sat down in his chair, its legs creaking beneath him as if he suddenly weighed far more than he should. He carefully set the binoculars back on the table. “I couldn’t find him,” he mumbled. He bent over, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders slumping. “You were right.” 

“Hey, now,” said Andy, reaching out to lay a hand on Steven’s shoulder. It shivered beneath his hand. “It happens,” he said, as gently as he knew how. “Sometimes things ain’t fair.”

“I’m supposed to fix things,” Steven said. “If I could have just caught him, I could fix anything that was wrong with him. I can heal all sorts of things, even the  _ worst _ things…” 

Andy squeezed Steven’s shoulder firmly. “Don’t take it so hard,” he said, confused. He hated to see a bird in need of help he couldn’t give, of course, but… sometimes that’s how it was. “It’s not like you were the one to hurt him, y’know?”

Steven pulled back, crossing his arms over his chest. He stared sullenly at the binoculars, his eyes shadowed. “I know.”

“What’s bothering you, kid? Is it really just the bird?” asked Andy, hesitating.

“I guess,” said Steven. “Yeah, that’s all.”

Andy almost opened his mouth to say that Steven had seemed down well before the bird showed up. But he saw the way Steven had gone tense and quiet, and he laid off, not wanting to push him. They sat together in silence, watching the waves crash in and flow back out, and they did not see the cormorant again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think in SUF so many people just saw pieces of Steven. And Steven, being Steven, was awfully good at downplaying how badly he really felt. It made his breakdown feel all the more inevitable and painful to know that so many people were around him but none knew how bad it had really gotten. :(


	8. spring migration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The birds are moving up into Delmarva. Andy gets some distressing news about Steven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included some art for this one :)

Spring was blooming, and the birds were moving.

Andy mirrored their progress in his plane, flying up north from Bermuda and the Florida Islands, taking his time. Greg’s folks probably still had a place down there, but Andy never visited them these days; they’d lost interest in the cousins once people had started moving away, and Andy hadn’t really missed them. He’d been down there to meet up with some fellow birders for their annual Everglades Island trip, good folks he’d known for a decade, Jim and Liza, Israel and Jesus, Nell and Shawna. 

Too bad Steven had said he was busy when Andy sent him an invite. They’d seen roseate spoonbills, anhinga, limpkins, Florida scrub-jays, not to mention a mess of warblers as they began their migration. Maybe next year Steven would be able to come along. At any rate, Andy hoped they could still find some good warblers together as they made their way up into Delmarva.

He’d sent several messages to both Greg and Steven, letting them know he’d be coming up for a visit. He didn’t worry when he didn’t get a reply to the first set of texts.

He didn’t worry when he didn’t get a reply to the second set.

He worried a  _ helluva _ lot when he didn’t get a reply to the sixth.

He hated the phone. Hated it as much as he hated small talk with strangers, hated it as much as politicians and taxes and any number of stupid things. But he called Greg up a few times, hitting the answering machine at first. He finally got him while grabbing a bite to eat in the Carolinas, a few days after he’d first tried to get in touch.

“Greg! You and Steven had me worried there. Everything okay?” he asked. 

A pause stretched on the other end. “Not really,” said Greg in a strained voice. “I mean, things could be better.”

“What’s going on?” Andy asked sharply. “I was takin’ my time heading up there, but I could be up there tonight if you need me --”   


“No, no, I think -- I think we need some time to figure things out here,” said Greg. He sounded tired as hell. 

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did something happen to Steven?” Andy asked, hand tightening on the phone.

“Something happened,” said Greg, “but I don’t know how to -- I think it’s Steven’s story to tell, if he wants to. But I wouldn’t pressure him about it. I just don’t know.”

“Greg, come on, you gotta give me something,” said Andy, his brain swimming with terrifying possible outcomes: Steven hurt, Greg sick, the town invaded. “I’m assumin’ the worst here. You sound like somebody  _ died-- _ ”

“No, it’s not like that, Andy. Look. Steven had a kind of… I guess you could call it a breakdown. I don’t know. We’re getting through it. He’s getting help.”

“A breakdown?” Andy said softly, going cold. “Like a mental breakdown?” He remembered Aunt Deb going away when he was a kid, remembered hushed adult voices in the kitchen, his mom crying when she thought he wasn’t looking. “Shit, Greg -- I thought maybe something was wrong, last visit. He seemed off, you know? But I didn’t think -- I didn’t think nothin’ like that --”

“Nobody did,” said Greg. “Steven didn’t want to worry any of us.” He laughed a little, but it sounded like he might cry. “Look, Andy, give us a couple days. I’ll see if Steven feels up for a visit, okay? But he might not want to talk about what happened, so just… go easy on him.”

“‘Course,” said Andy. “Lemme know. I’ll see ya when you guys are ready.”

“Thanks, Andy. Bye.”

Andy stared down at the phone screen, showing the ended call. He still felt it, that terrible chill of bad news, settling in his gut and chest. He thought of Steven, stricken after the cormorant had vanished.

_ I shoulda said something. Dammit, I shoulda  _ **_done_ ** _ something! _ The thought seared in his mind, and he blinked back a burning sensation in his eyes. He leaned against his plane with his hands in his pockets, tilting his head back and screwing his eyes shut, and he stood like that a long time.

***

He didn’t take the usual route up to Delmarva from the south. He wandered, took circuitous paths, stayed for days near the Carolinas. He craved updates from Greg every day, but he settled for sending him a text periodically. To Steven, he sent,  _ Thinking of you, kid. Take care of yourself.  _ He got back a bird and a heart symbol. He’d take it.

One morning he woke up in a little motel in a backwoods town with a dirt airstrip, a message on his phone.  _ Hi, Uncle Andy. Dad said you wanted to visit? It’d be good to see you. _

He reached Beach City a few hours later, flying the regular route. He landed the plane out on the beach near the car wash, checking to make sure he was well above the high-tide mark. The sun was beginning to set, casting orange and gold and rosy light against the hills, and Andy walked past the carwash, deep in thought. Greg had said he’d be over at Steven’s. It’d be good to see them both.

He was so intent on his thoughts that he got the wind knocked out of him, bumping into an enormous somebody in his path. “Whoa! Sorry there. Wasn’t looking where I was going,” he said, blinking the stars out of his eyes. 

He recognized this Gem. Snowflake, the one who’d been up in the air with him when the plane went down. She’d mostly avoided him after their rescue, except for her apology. She looked mortified.

“Andy!” she exclaimed. “I’m so sorry -- I didn’t see you there. Arrgh, humans are so small! I keep bumping into them. Are you all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” he said, though he was still catching his breath. “How about you?”

She chuckled, drawing herself up to her full height. “I’m just fine. Snow worries here!” The smile on her face faded. “Well, at least not now. A few days ago, though -- phew!”

“Oh yeah?” Andy asked, frowning.

“Didn’t you hear? A huge corrupted Gem attacked the Crystal Gem base,” said Snowflake, shaking her enormous head. “They were even bigger than the Diamonds, bigger than the hill with the lighthouse! I’ve never seen anything like it. Luckily it was over quickly. All the humans in town were so scared, though. Most of them fled to Little Homeworld.” She glanced toward the hill behind Steven’s house. “I guess things are never quiet on Earth for long!” She sighed, shaking her head. “Stay frosty out there, Andy! And I’ll stay safe on the ground down here.” 

“Right,” said Andy, puzzling through what she’d just told him. “See ya around.” She continued on her way, and Andy turned to face the hill, feeling more hollow with every step.

_ Attacked. Corrupted. Even bigger than the Diamonds.  _ He heard Greg’s voice.  _ They’re literally over fifty feet tall. _

But Greg hadn’t said anything about a monster attack. If there’d been some giant messed up Gem attacking the town, why wouldn’t he just have said so --

There it was again, that cold, horrible feeling. He stopped dead.

Suddenly he remembered his nephew could do all sorts of magic things. His goofy, goodhearted, gentle nephew could practically fly. He could heal the earth with nothing more than his spit. He could -- he could shapeshift --

_ I guess you could call it a breakdown.  _

His feet led him around the curve of the hill and onto the beach. He passed deep gouges in the sand, black in the fading light, marks that looked like massive footprints if he squinted. He traced his way around fallen stone and rocks, chunks of the hillside embedded in the ground. He raised his gaze and saw the tarps fluttering over the roof of the beach house, splintered lumber on the ground around it, new boards waiting on the porch.

“Aw, kid,” he sighed. “Aw, Steven.”

The staircase was missing a few steps, and Andy took it gingerly, holding on tight to the handrails. When he reached the porch he raised a hand to knock at the door, the sound of the tarps in the wind snapping in his ears.

The door opened after a few knocks. Though the sunlight hadn’t yet faded, Steven stood there in well-worn pajamas, his hair rumpled and his eyes tired. “Hey, Uncle Andy,” he said. The smile he mustered was thin and wan. “I, um -- I don’t know how much Dad told you --”

“Don’t matter,” said Andy fiercely. He swept Steven up in a crushing hug, closing his eyes. Steven sank against him, trembling. “Look, kid, you know I don’t always understand the stuff you got going on. Way above my pay grade. But you’re family, dammit, and that means takin’ care of each other. Anything I can do, I’ll do, understand?”

Steven pulled back slightly. Andy opened his eyes to see Steven wiping tears away on the back of his hand, sniffling. “Thanks, Uncle Andy,” he said.

“Aw, jeez, now you got me doing it,” said Andy gruffly through his own tears. He let Steven go and scrubbed at his face with his jacket sleeve, blinking back the stinging in his eyes. He let out a shaky laugh. “S’okay, though. How’re you?”

Steven gave him a watery smile. “I -- I’m hanging in there. It’s, um, it’s been hard to ask for help. But I’m trying.”

“That’s good, kid, that’s good.” Andy cuffed him on the shoulder. “Now, you wanna let your uncle in? I gotta use the facilities.”

Steven snorted through his snotty nose. “Of course, of course. Come in.”

He stepped in and saw Greg messing around in the kitchen, making dinner. “Hey there, Greg.”

Greg stepped out to give him a one-handed embrace, holding a wooden spoon covered in macaroni in his other hand. “Good to see you, Andy.” Up close like this, he looked a good five years older than he had at their last visit. 

“You guys, uh, need anything?” Andy asked, patting Greg firmly on the back and looking around. The place looked better inside than he’d feared, the floor newly patched up but the place otherwise seeming intact. “Where’s your, uh --” He never knew what to call Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl as a group. “You know, the rest of the family?”

“They’re out getting more things for repairs,” said Greg. Steven padded past them in bare feet, flopping down on the couch and curling up his legs beneath him. “Want to join us for dinner?”

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

***

The macaroni was pretty good, along with a side salad that reminded Andy he hadn’t eaten a vegetable for a coupla days now. The three of them talked about simple stuff, turned on the TV, and just hung out. Steven sat between Andy and Greg as they watched some mindless television, and sometimes he’d rest his head on Greg’s shoulder, leaning against him like it was easier than sitting on his own. But once he shifted to lean against Andy instead, and Andy rested a hand on Steven’s shoulder, his eyes burning again. 

“So what’re you doing tomorrow?” Andy asked. 

Steven was quiet, his head still on Andy’s shoulder. “I dunno. I -- have some worksheets and things I need to do. And I’m supposed to get some exercise. My, um, my therapist wants me to.” He stumbled over the word like it was foreign.

Andy glanced up at Greg, silently asking a question. Greg nodded slightly. Andy couldn’t help but notice how exhausted he looked.

“Well, hey,” Andy said to Steven. “You know what time it is?”

Steven lifted his head and looked at Andy, blinking sleepily. “Like, ten o’clock?”

“Nah. It’s spring migration, kid. You wanna get out there with me tomorrow morning and see what we can find?” Andy said, trying to sound as cheery as he possibly could, even though his chest ached. “Don’t worry, I can get you back here by the afternoon to make sure you get your other stuff done.”

Steven’s face broke into a tired smile. “Sure,” he said. “Sounds better than being here, anyway.”

“You just watch, kid. This’ll knock your socks off,” said Andy, settling back against the couch.

“Uncle Andy, I never wear socks.”

“Well, your flip-flops then,” said Andy stubbornly.

Steven grinned. Andy looked to Greg again, seeing something a little bit like hope in his cousin’s face.

Maybe, maybe things were gonna be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to draw the hug. My heart!
> 
>   
> 
> 
> Getting close to the end here :)


	9. like jewels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg and Andy talk about what happened to Steven. Andy and Steven investigate warbler migration.

“So Greg, how you doin’?” asked Andy later that night, sitting out on the porch under the stars and moon. A pair of mugs sat before them, steaming with peppermint tea. 

Steven was up in bed, having fallen asleep on Andy’s shoulder shortly after their talk of birding tomorrow. As Greg helped Steven up to bed, Andy had busied himself with the teakettle and suggested they take their mugs outside. He was more than a little worried Greg might not talk openly if he thought Steven could overhear them.

Greg shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He looked wiped out, and Andy didn’t blame him. It was clear Steven wasn’t right. Maybe he hadn’t been for a while. He remembered the day with the cormorant.

Greg rubbed at his eyes, grimacing. “Not great,” he sighed. “It’s been rough.”

Andy mulled over his cup of tea. “I know you wanna give Steven his privacy, and that’s good and all, but… looks like you need someone to talk to.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” said Greg softly. “I… we all really messed up, Andy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and the Gems,” he said. “A whole lot of things happened at once, and Steven lost it. He lost _himself._ And it was our fault.”

“What did you _do_ to him?” asked Andy, bewildered. “I mean, this doesn’t sound like you, Greg. You and Steven always seemed real close. Kid looks up to you more than anythin’.”

Greg gave him a tense smile. “Not as much as he used to. We had a bad fight a few days before the… breakdown, and it just made everything worse.” He sighed. “You remember how well me and my folks got along.”

“Sure. Like fire and water. You guys couldn’t stand each other by the time you graduated school. But that was never you and Steven, unless there’s stuff I don’t know about,” said Andy. Then again, there was probably a lot he didn’t know about. He wished, not for the first time, that he’d looked around the barn earlier, or tried to get in touch with Greg years ago.

“I took him past the house,” Greg murmured. “My parents’ place. I wanted to show him my old Kerry Moonbeam album --”

Andy couldn’t help an eyeroll, which he quickly tried to suppress. Greg’s taste in music had always been weird.

“And Steven saw their house. The place with all the little creature comforts that used to suffocate me. Family photos up on the wall pretending everything was fine. Stupid pictures of me in my cap and gown. I hated that time, and I hated remembering it, and Steven -- he was _furious_ with me.”

“Steven, mad?” asked Andy, shaking his head in disbelief. “Why was he mad about that?”

“Andy, we lived together in my van until he moved in here with the Gems when he was eight,” said Greg in a rush. “He didn’t go to school because I didn’t know what they would do with a kid with no papers with a space alien for his mom. I didn’t take him to the doctor because I thought they’d try to take his gem out. And I didn’t want him to feel tied down with all those expectations, and --” His shoulders shook. “I thought I was giving him freedom, and he thought… that I took a normal life _away_ from him.”

Greg buried his face in his hands, and Andy stared at him, his eyes widening. “Wait a minute. He never went to the _doctor?_ Or a school?” asked Andy, thunderstruck. “You tell me that kid was running a school for aliens and he _never went to one?_ I -- I thought he graduated early, or you took him outta class after he started working with those Diamond ladies on the gem government stuff, but I never thought he _never went!_ Greg, what the _fuck?_ ” 

Suddenly visits where Steven had a day off in the middle of the week clicked; suddenly Steven’s chatter about using his healing powers for everything made sense. And he’d thought Greg’s van was _his,_ his own choice to live without a house just like Andy had, but he’d never thought about raising a _baby_ in his damn plane!

“I didn’t want him to grow up like I did! Feeling like everything I did was wrong! Knowing my parents hated everything I liked about myself! I felt so _trapped_ in that house, Andy, and I know you and the other cousins never knew how bad it got, but I -- I messed up. We fought, and he was driving, and he crashed the van -- I mean, we were okay, but that should have been a _huge_ red flag and I still didn’t want to believe anything was _really_ wrong.” 

“He crashed the VAN?” Andy hissed. “I know he’s a teenager but I’ve seen him drive, Greg, the kid knows better. You didn’t think that was a problem?”

“I just thought, oh, our first big fight of him being a teenager, that’s normal, that’s fine -- I was _proud_ he could tell me off!” Greg said miserably. “But it turns out I made Steven feel like he doesn’t even know how to be human anymore. And when Steven doesn’t feel human… all his powers are controlled by his emotions.” He took a few deep breaths, looking like he was trying to figure out what to say. 

At last he brought out, “He didn’t feel human. So, for a little while, he wasn’t. And we thought we’d lost him.” He started crying in earnest, tears streaking his cheeks.

Andy felt his anger beginning to dissolve at the distress in Greg’s face. “Aw, man, Greg,” said Andy. “You didn’t lose him. He’s right here, in this house.”

“But he’s _sick,"_ Greg choked. The tears slowed, but his face was still blotchy. “He saw Connie’s mom without me. She’s a doctor. She said he probably has post-traumatic stress disorder from all this Gem stuff that happened that I didn’t even _know_ about. She’s the one who got us the hookup for a therapist. I just -- how’d I _miss_ this?”

“I don’t know,” said Andy slowly. “I mean… I tried askin’ him flat-out last time I was here if he was okay. Like a bunch of times. And I thought things weren’t right, but he kept sayin’ he was fine. Maybe it’s just hard for him to ask for help.”

“He’s always been the helper,” admitted Greg, sniffing loudly. “We all used to tell him how wonderful his mom was. How she always helped everyone, how she helped the Earth. We’ve learned a lot more about who she was in the past, mistakes she made, people she hurt, and I know… he might hate her now. And that breaks my heart, because I loved her, I’ll always love her. But even though we never told him he had to get straight As or go to church, I think he figured he had to be a helper, like Rose. That that’s who we all needed him to be.” He took a drink of his tea, his hand shaking. “And if he doesn’t know how to do that anymore...”

Andy thought back to the boy running himself ragged kissing the earth beneath his feet back to life. He thought of Steven floating above the sea, searching desperately for a long-gone cormorant. “I think you’re right.” He sighed. “But… he’s askin’ for help now, right?”

“Sort of?” Greg shrugged. “It’s been a week since his… well, he’s calling it his meltdown. I was hoping he’d be getting better now that we know the extent of things. But he’s suffering, Andy. He’s got this therapist now, Dr. Boverman, and I’m hoping he can help pull Steven out of this… _pit_ he’s in, but I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, and I’m scared.”

“Me too,” said Andy softly. “I care about you two, you know. And it’s rough seeing you guys like this. But Steven’s got a mess of people who love ‘im to death. That’s gotta count for somethin’.”

“I hope so,” said Greg.

Andy reached out, gripping his cousin by the shoulder. “I know so,” he said, and he hoped he was telling the truth.

  
  


***

  
  


For a little while, it felt like old times.

Steven and Andy had gotten up well before the dawn, Andy stiff and sore from sleeping on the floor of the living room in a big squishy green sleeping bag. Greg had taken the couch, but Steven and Andy had done their best to stay quiet and let him keep sleeping. They’d picked up some doughnuts and coffee from the Big Donut, first customers of the day. They drank the coffee in the plane before takeoff, and saved the doughnuts for their mid-morning pick-me-up.

The ride to Andy’s favorite warbler spot in Delmarva wasn’t a long one, half an hour or so. The whole flight he was keenly aware of Steven’s presence sitting behind him. They didn’t speak in the air, but Andy could _feel_ his nephew there, the extra weight affecting the plane’s handling, the additional presence keeping him sharper and more focused than he was when he was on his own and flying automatically. They flew with the rising sun behind them, and they landed in a forgotten little patch of field near a riparian woodland’s edge.

As soon as Andy cut the engine, birdsong trilled out, jumbled phrases of warm burbles and cheery chirrups. He squinted against the dawnlight spilling out of the trees in brilliant golden shafts. “You ready for this, kid?” he asked.

Steven blinked, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Yeah,” he said quietly. His eyes widened. “Yeah! What’s that?”

Andy whirled to see where he was pointing, and a grin spread over his face. “Eastern towhee,” he said, nodding toward the black and rufous sparrow leaping about on the ground and merrily digging in the leaf litter at the edge of the trees. “They’re diggers. You’ll often see ‘em creeping around like little mice. Silly things.”

“No, not the towhee, but it’s cute too,” said Steven, raising the binoculars around his neck and concentrating with his tongue sticking out. “That little golden bird in the tree to the left --”

“Oooh!” Andy said, sighting it just as Steven finished his sentence. “Prothonotary warbler!” It flitted away in a second, brilliant gold breast vanishing in the green. No other warbler was so golden with a dove-gray wing. “Come on, Steven. I know you’ve seen some crazy stuff all over the galaxy, but you ain’t seen nothing like an east coast wood in warbler migration.” His chest swelled with delight. He knew the birds wouldn’t fix whatever had gone so horribly wrong for Steven, but the kid _deserved_ this, deserved a little joy, a little beauty.

Steven grabbed his bag and hurried after Andy. “There! On the log, ooh, shoot, he’s jumping away --”

“Hooded warbler!” Andy said. “Ahh, ain’t he marvelous?”

“Wow,” said Steven, lowering his binoculars and flipping rapidly through his Sibley’s. Andy noted with pride that Steven got to the warbler section right away. He’d remembered the day Andy had gone through and shown him the different bird families, or he’d gone through and learned it on his own -- either way, Andy couldn’t be prouder. “He’s beautiful. It’s a he, right? With that dark hood?”

“Yeah,” said Andy. The hooded warbler pranced about on top of the fallen log for a moment, his black hood rich against his brilliant yellow face. “One of my favorites, that bird there.”

“But what about this blue one in the bush right there --”

“Cerulean warbler! Outstandin’ find, Steven.”

They crept deeper into the wood, binoculars poised and at the ready, their footfalls as quiet as they could make them. The morning began to bloom with a subtle shift from dawnrise through the golden hour, the passage into normal daylight almost imperceptible.

There was a shift in Steven, too. Andy could see the way that Steven’s brain seemed to click over from anxious, weary heaviness to something lighter, something brighter, finding a distraction in all the golden birds alighting in the leaves around them. Part of him knew it wouldn’t last forever. But he was determined to enjoy it as long as he could, determined for _Steven_ to enjoy it as long as he could. 

They strolled past patches of flowering asters and honeysuckle, striding through dappled sun and shadow on the narrow paths. Birds flickered and flitted overhead, gleaning food on a branch one instant, gone the next, ephemeral shimmers of gold and black and olive. The bird list for the day scrolled longer and longer in Andy’s head, northern parula, black-and-white warbler, blackburnian warbler, cape may warbler. He’d make sure he and Steven sat down at the end of the trip to write them all down -- he didn’t want the kid to miss a single bird for his life list.

Andy let out a long, happy sigh. The birdsong twittered and chorused around them, a cacophony of voices lifted up in joy, in life, in love. Andy had to admit he’d never known nor cared what romance was, but warbler season was the closest he knew he’d ever come to it. He whistled faintly under his breath, imitating a great northern warbler.

Steven crouched behind a spreading mulberry plant, eyes narrowing in concentration. “Uncle Andy. This is -- that’s a mourning warbler, right? With the gray head?”

“Hell yeah it is!” Andy said, kneeling down to take a look at the bird strolling on the ground beneath the shrub. “And ooh -- just look past ‘im, here -- you see that bird at the base of that tree back there?”

Steven fluttered the pages of his guidebook. “Is it a… it’s a waterthrush, I think. But is it a bayou waterthrush? Or a northern?”

“Look at how it moves. See the way it wags its tail?”

“Up and down,” said Steven. His face lit up. “Northern waterthrush! The bayou waterthrush wags from side to side.”

“Exactly,” said Andy. He grinned. “You’re gettin’ pretty damn good at those warblers, kid.”

“I had a pretty good teacher,” said Steven, smiling back. “I just never thought we’d see so _many._ And -- oooooh! Ooh!”

“I see it. Little fella on the ground there? Oh, good eye, Universe. Ovenbird, see the little orange and yellow crown on its head?”

“The crown is so _bright,”_ Steven said in surprise. “It’s almost fluorescent.”

“Gotta advertise. Besides, this from the guy in the bright pink jacket?”

Steven giggled. “What can I say, pink’s my color.” But his giggle stuttered, ending on a sour note. His face darkened.

“Looks good on you. Pink suits ya,” said Andy.

Steven’s smile stayed flat.

Ah. There it was, then. Real life creeping back in. Andy swallowed. 

“Hey. Wanna break out those doughnuts?” Andy asked. “There’s a log up ‘round this way, if I recall right. We can take a little break. The birds’ll still be here.”

“Uh, sure,” said Steven. He adjusted his backpack, letting out a long breath. “I’m getting pretty hungry.”

They made their way to the center of the wood, where Andy’s memory proved right. A big fallen log rested at the edge of a small clearing, and they settled in upon it, laying their things down. Steven fished in his backpack for the bag of doughnuts and set it between them. 

For a moment, they ate in silence. Then Steven took a big gulp, swallowing a hunk of his chocolate-frosted doughnut. “So, um.”

“Yeah. Um,” said Andy. Aw, shit. He should’ve planned this out better. “Look, Steven… I wanna say something.”

“I know,” said Steven, his eyes reddening. He looked away. “I’m sorry I worried you --”

Andy waved his words away. “No, none of that, now. I just wish I’d been here for you, kid.”

Steven took another bite of his doughnut, still keeping his face turned away. “I don’t think anyone could have stopped me.” He shivered. “Did… Dad tell you what I did?”

“Not exactly. I picked up a couple things,” said Andy. “Somethin’ with shapeshifting. I don’t understand it completely, but… it looks like the house needed some repairs.” He remembered the new wood, the day with the cormorant. “Again.”

Steven nodded stiffly. “I turned into a monster,” he whispered. “Because that’s what I was.”

“You ain’t a monster.”

“You don’t know what I did,” Steven bit out, and he shoved the last of his doughnut into his mouth. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaning over them like his stomach hurt. “They didn’t want to believe how awful I was, either --”

Andy reached out, but Steven tensed, jerking away from him. Andy closed his hand, lowering it by his side, his chest aching.

“So what’d you do?” he asked quietly. “Look, I know I ain’t been the most open-minded person in the past, but… I promise, you can tell me.”

“I screwed up so much,” Steven whispered, huddling into himself. Faintly, Andy could still hear the birds singing, but they’d faded far into the background. Instead he was focused on Steven, hunched on the log, Steven, his face drawn and pale, Steven, trying not to cry. “I hurt people, Uncle Andy. I was so stupid. I scared Connie to death when I proposed to her, and I’ve been so -- _mad --_ and so confused --”

Andy’s head spun. Steven proposed? At sixteen? He knew Steven had a crush on his friend Connie, but what the hell? And that would have been bad enough, but -- 

Steven continued, his voice cracking. “My dad and I had this terrible fight, and I almost hurt him by crashing the van -- and then I, I ran away to someone who used to be one of my _worst enemies_ and I… I hurt her so bad, Uncle Andy. My powers are so strong now, but they’re _awful_ , and I hurt her in a way I didn’t even know if she could come back from…” Tears were streaming down his face now. “And I wanted to keep hurting people, everyone who ever hurt me, and there were _so many_ of them, so many horrible things I never told Dad or the Gems about, I wanted to hurt them _back,_ and -- I didn’t want to admit it, but they cornered me and when I finally told them the truth I told _all_ of the truth, and that’s when they finally saw the real me -- they saw the _monster_ \--”

And suddenly Steven was shimmering pink from head to toe, his hands, his face, even his hair. An electronic-like whine hummed around him, hurting Andy’s ears. Steven gasped, hands clenching into fists. “No!” he hissed. “Not again, please, not again --”

Andy didn’t know what to do. So he reacted instead of thinking, flinging his arms around his nephew, holding him tight as Steven shuddered. “Love you, kid,” he said, squeezing him hard. “No matter what happened, whatever you did, you ain’t a monster.”

“But I hurt people --”

“You think you’re the only one who messed things up?” Andy said sharply. “We _all_ mess up. I messed up bad, not findin’ out about you until a few years back. I shoulda been there for you and your dad all along. Listen to me.” 

He gently pulled back from Steven, holding him by the shoulders at arms’ length. Steven was openly crying now, tears streaming down his face, thick sobs escaping him. The strange glowing pink color flickered and faded.

“Just because you messed up don’t mean it can’t get better,” said Andy, his eyes stinging. “It don’t mean you’re a bad _person._ You can fix it, now you know it’s wrong. And I know you will.”

“But what if I can’t? I don’t know what to do,” Steven wept.

“That’s when you ask for help,” Andy said. “You don’t gotta do this alone, right? Your dad said they got you a doctor. That’s somethin’. And of course you got your dad, and Connie, and the Gems. And you got me.”

Steven nodded tearfully, rubbing at his eyes with a balled up fist, sniffing hard. “Thanks, Uncle Andy.” He hung his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry! For what?” Andy half-snapped, blinking back his own tears.

“For scaring off the birds,” he mumbled. “All the crying and glowing… they’re gonna hide, and you won’t get to see them --”

Andy’s heart ached. “Oh, Steven,” he said, reaching out and rubbing Steven’s back. “No, no, no. Look.”

Steven lifted his tear-streaked face and followed Andy’s gaze. American redstarts flitted through the bushes at the edge of the clearing, chasing each other in circles through the green, their plumage flashing in black and orange, white and yellow. The warblers coruscated in the leaves before them, dripping from the trees like jewels, brilliant and glorious. They watched the dance for a moment, the careful choreography of warblers in the wood, and the two DeMayos were still and calm and quiet.

“They’re okay,” Andy murmured, and Steven settled his head against Andy’s shoulder. Andy rubbed Steven’s back, his palm making little circles against Steven’s jacket, and the kid’s breathing relaxed. “They’re okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Steven's last name is still Universe. But one of his middle names is DeMayo, so it works. ;)
> 
> I adjusted the names of a few warblers for SU-style geography -- great northern warbler = Canada warbler, and bayou waterthrush = Louisiana waterthrush.
> 
> And here's a rough sketch of how I pictured the scene with the redstarts.
> 
>   
> 


	10. the big day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Andy try their hand at a birding Big Day.

“You ready for this?” Steven asked, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

“You better believe it,” said Andy. He brandished his binoculars, buffing the lenses on his jacket sleeve. “Whattaya think we’ll get? My guess is eighty.”

“I dunno,” said Steven. “Bolsa Chica’s a pretty intense hotspot, from what I hear. I think we could hit ninety if we get the parkland, too. Especially with migration starting up. A lot of western warblers, hopefully.” He looked intent on the challenge.

“You’re on, Universe,” said Andy. They piled out of the Dondai, binoculars swinging against their chests, backpacks slung over their shoulders with breakfast, lunch, water, and field guides at the ready. “Let’s see if we can blow your mind with an old-fashioned Big Day.”

Big Days, as Andy had explained them to Steven, were always a special event to birders. Every birding outing was fun, of course, and had the potential to see something new or something special. Even the most mundane trips to a city park or around town could show common birds doing something interesting. But a Big Day was about going for broke. It was about hitting as many different microenvironments as possible to get as many species as you could in a single day. And some birders would do a Big Year -- Andy remembered a particularly grand 2004 -- but a Big Day was more than enough excitement to be starting with. Especially with a partner.

***

They started in the local city park, a sprawling property with freshwater ponds and drooping willows, towering conifers and open fields. Andy caught a lot of their first species -- late yellow-rumped warblers, an unusual for the region white-breasted nuthatch, an American kestrel -- but Steven held his own, pointing out a Say’s phoebe on a fencepost, fervently consulting his now-battered Sibley’s for tips on whether the bird on a branch was a Cassin’s or a western kingbird. Western bluebirds hunted worms in the parkland while great-tailed grackles cackled and cavorted overhead. It was a busy morning.

They sat on a bench overlooking a pond full of American white pelicans, double-crested cormorants, mallards and American coots, eating protein bars and drinking the iced coffees Steven had packed. Andy took a gulp of his coffee, smiling. “You know we’ve only been at it an hour, and we’re near on thirty species. Not too bad, Universe.”

“I might have done some research,” Steven said, a grin lighting up his face. 

He’d grown a bit more since their last meeting six weeks ago in the Dakotas -- kid was growing up a storm, these days, and now stood a good several inches above Andy. He looked more mature than ever, stubble on his cheeks and a calm look in his eyes. Eighteen suited him, a much better fit than the spiral of sixteen and the recovery of seventeen. 

“This park gets a lot of weird vagrants. And we haven’t even hit the real wetlands yet. If you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to impress you.”

Andy laughed, a barking noise that startled a black phoebe on a nearby branch. “Me? Aw, come on, kid. I was amazed the first time you ever picked up a bird book and listened to me ramblin’ on about them. You don’t gotta impress me anymore than that.”

“I know I don’t have to,” said Steven. “But I keep up with it because I want to. And the better I get at it, the better I want to get, you know? It’s just a bonus if bragging rights come along with it.”

“All you have to do is be yourself, kid. That’s plenty.” Andy considered, looking at his nephew. “Though, hell. You’re gettin’ so damn mature I’m gonna have to stop calling you kid.”

Steven smiled at him, munching a protein bar. “You don’t have to stop calling me kid. I like it. It’s your thing you call me, you know?”

“That’s a relief. It’d be a real tough habit to break.” Andy finished off his coffee. “So then, _kid_ … how you doin’ these days?”

“Pretty good,” said Steven. He packed his trash back into his backpack, then made sure his binoculars were strapped properly over his back. He was using the harness Andy had given him for a present a few months ago. Not that a kid with super-strength probably needed to worry about getting a sore neck from binocs hanging from a skinny strap, but still. It meant a little more than that; it meant Andy trusted him to be more than just the casual birdwatcher. It heartened him, seeing that the leather on the back of the harness looked a little worn.

“What’s pretty good look like now?” Andy asked him. It was a relief these days, not having to be careful what he asked, how he asked it. For a while there, every conversation was liable to make Steven struggle. Andy had ended up seeing the pink glow several times in the first few months after Steven started getting help, and it had been so hard, especially at first, for Steven to come out of it. But he hadn’t seen it in nearly a year.

“Still a lot of driving. Seeing friends, seeing Connie, talking to Dr. B… you know, we went down to visits every other week like a month ago? Instead of having to check in weekly, like I did for a long time, or two or three times a week back when we first started talking. It felt right.” He smiled, helping Andy up to his feet. They started walking again, binoculars held loosely in their hands, ready for sighting.

“And I’m starting to think of settling down,” said Steven. “Or at least, taking a break from the road. I’ve really loved it, but sometimes I miss feeling like I have a home base. Visits back home -- I mean, Beach City will always be my hometown, but the house doesn’t really feel like home anymore. In a good way, I think.”

“Oh, phew. Had me worried for a second there. I thought you meant ‘settlin’ down’ like gettin’ married or something.”

Steven shook his head, blushing, waving his hands in front of him. “Nope! That’s a mistake I’m only going to make once,” he said firmly. “I’m sure Connie and I will get married someday, I mean, we _are_ definitely in love….. but we’ve talked a lot about what it would mean and what the timing might be like, and it’s years and years away. It’s not gonna happen any time soon, don’t worry.”

Andy chuckled. “Good, good. Just checkin’.”

“You never got married, though,” Steven observed as they walked, his eyes scanning the treeline and shore. 

“Nah,” said Andy. “You know me, kid. Just not wired that way. Nothin’ wrong with it, just… all that romance stuff, it doesn’t do a thing for me. This is more my speed. Birds and flyin’ and seein’ the world.”

“Makes sense,” said Steven. “A lot of the Gems are aro or ace, too, you know. Or both. Garnet’s Garnet, of course, and Pearl and Bismuth are talking about getting married, but Peridot and a lot of the other Gems never feel a need for romance.” He giggled. “Me, I’m on the other end of the romance spectrum.”

“Ya big softie,” said Andy affectionately. “So where do you think wanna set up this bachelor pad of yours? Northern shoveler, there, under that willow.”

“Nice. Their bills are _hilarious._ ” Steven snapped a photo. “I don’t know yet where I want to try living on my own. Pacifica’s really beautiful, and I’d get to be near the coast, but I hear it rains a lot in the winter... Of course I could always live near Connie while she lives in the dorms, but I don’t want to distract her too much, either. And part of me wants to go back to Delmarva, see how Little Homeworld is doing, but… maybe not Beach City. Not yet,” said Steven, peering up into the trees. “Hey, that’s an oriole, right? I thought they were summer birds!”

“Must be early,” said Andy. “But don’t forget, we’re pretty far south here, first stop on the west coast migration route. Hooded oriole, do you have that one on your list yet?”

“I think I saw one up in Pacifica last summer. But I had a hard time deciding which kind it was.”

“They do look pretty similar.” Andy mulled over Steven’s comments. “So no Beach City for a while, huh? I know your old man and the Gems would love to have you closer again. He’s proud of you, but he misses you, too.”

“I love them. And I miss them, too,” said Steven simply, raising his binoculars. “But… old patterns are hard to break out of sometimes, right?”

“Fair enough. I know how that goes,” said Andy, thinking of the years he’d missed with family due to his own stubbornness, the way he’d almost flown off and left Greg and Steven alone forever. If Steven hadn’t shaken him outta that old thinking -- Nah, he didn’t even want to consider it. He knew the problems Steven had with his family were a whole other can of worms, but he thought he understood what Steven meant.

“Ooh! That’s a… hm. It doesn’t look exactly like a bufflehead. Is it a grebe?”

Andy glanced to where Steven was looking, checking with his own lenses. “Hooded merganser. Good instinct -- it’s black and white like a bufflehead, but the shape’s real different. Still a duck, but one of the weird ones.”

“We’ll add it to the list!”

***

They finished up the city park with a good forty-five species, which would have been a damn respectable count for the day if they weren’t also heading to the Bolsa Chica wetlands for the afternoon. Neither of them had been there before, but as soon as Steven parked the car in the gravel parking lot and cut the engine, bird calls filled their ears. 

As they got out of the car, Andy took a deep breath. The tang of salt air was sharp and familiar. Terns wheeled and called overhead, dozens of them of four or five different species, their raucous calls loud and chatty. A wooden footbridge extended from the parking lot over marshgrass and shallow seawater in the shelter of the estuary. They stood on the bridge for fifteen minutes, chatting back and forth in the language of the birder.

“Willet, there in the rushes.”

“Least tern comin’ in at two o’clock.”

“Great egret.”

“Snowy egret.”

“Great blue heron.”

“Little guy there on the rail. Savannah sparrow.”

“Surf scoter!”

They wrested themselves away eventually from the footbridge -- there was a whole nature reserve to explore still! Steven’s eyes got as big as saucers when he spotted a black skimmer flying just at the water’s surface, dipping its oversized red-orange bill into the water to snap up fish after fish. Andy stood and watched a reddish egret twirl and dance and shimmy over the water for ages, marveling. He never got tired of those silly birds.

Two hours later after a good deal of hiking and a great many birds, they found themselves up at the top of a little cliffside path nestled in among the chaparral, looking out over bone-white dead trees standing at the water’s edge. Two red-tailed hawks circled high above them. An osprey peaceably tore into a fish on one of the tree boughs as Steven and Andy dug into their peanut butter sandwiches. It was a good time for a break.

Steven munched through a handful of potato chips. “It still surprises me,” Steven mused.

“What does?”

“How _different_ all the parts of the Earth are. There’s always something new.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” said Andy. “Every time I think I’ve seen all there is, nature comes up and smacks me in the face. Pretty neat place, Earth.”

“It really is,” said Steven. He watched a black-crowned night-heron down at the shoreline, stalking among dead tree roots in the muddy water for its prey. “I used to travel a lot more outside this solar system, and even with seeing so many things throughout the galaxy… Earth really is unique. Deserts, oceans, jungles, mountains, places like this. There’s always something beautiful around the bend.”

Andy raised a hand, shading his eyes from the bright spring sunlight. A pair of ruddy ducks swam closer to the shore. “I used to never notice,” he confessed.

“What?” Steven squawked. “You? But you know so much about birds and nature and stuff.”

“There was a while there that I didn’t notice a lot of things,” Andy said. “Family all left… figured I’d leave too. I flew and I didn’t care where I ended up. Got into some bad situations. Made a lot of mistakes. And if anyone tried to get close, tried to be a friend, I pushed ‘em back. Figured I was the only one I could count on.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help,” said Steven softly, looking intently at him. “What changed?”

“I’d left the plane on a little backwoods runway in Oregon. Came back for it hungover and sore from sleeping in a terrible motel. The sun hit the field just right; set the morning mist glowin’ gold. And I could see ‘em there in the field, a pair of these huge, alien creatures looking for food.” He sighed, remembering the stately way they moved through the mist, the grace of them, the sheer size. “I watched ‘em for twenty minutes and when they flew off, it broke my heart, somehow. Went to pick up the plane and asked the guy who owned it what they were. Sandhill cranes, he said.” 

“I’ve never seen one,” said Steven, riffling through his book. “They’re huge. And beautiful.”

“After that, I got myself a bird book, started trying to figure out what all they were. There were so many more kinds than I ever even thought,” said Andy. “And somewhere in there I realized it gave me somethin’ to hold onto, even when it seemed like it was just me against the world. Birds and nature, just existing. It’s some kinda magic.” He took a deep breath. “And I’m just real glad to be able to share that with you.” 

“Me too,” said Steven, giving Andy a quick one-armed hug. He was quiet for a moment, deep in thought. “That’s how I feel about a lot of things now. Sometimes it used to feel like I only had myself, and it was the scariest thing in the galaxy... especially when I didn't like who I was anymore. But now I know that’s not true. I'm doing so much better. I’ve got Connie, you and Dad, the Maheswarans... I have my human friends, and I'll always have the Gems. And Earth -- I have the Earth. That means a lot.”

“You’re never alone, Steven. All of us are here for ya.”

“I know. And even if the people aren’t here with me, just being out here in nature seeing the birds, listening to the water, getting sunburned and bitten by mosquitoes -- I can see how lucky I am.” He cracked a grin.

Andy nodded. “So you’re doin’ pretty okay now, is what I’m hearing.”

“Yeah! I have been for a long time,” said Steven. “But I still appreciate you checking.” He shrugged. “There’s still some things that are always gonna be a sore spot, I think. Healing powers don’t work on _every_ scar.”

Andy’s voice was soft. “Sorry you had to go through all that.”

“Me too,” said Steven. He stretched, letting out a yawn that shifted into a smile. “But I’m looking forward now, you know?”

“So any more thoughts about where you wanna move?”

The osprey flew away, its appetite sated. Steven watched it go. Around them, herring gulls called, a spotted towhee rattled, dark-eyed juncos trilled, southland gnatcatchers mewed.

“Isn’t that the exciting part?” he asked, his face glowing. “I can choose whatever feels right for me.”

***

The sunset spilled forth in gold and crimson, brilliant colors playing over the ocean surface. Andy and Steven sat on the sand, watching the sun sink swiftly, gently, beneath the waves. Brown pelicans made stately little silhouettes against the glowing disk of the sun as they passed, and long-billed curlews flew behind them.

“What’s the final count?” asked Andy. 

Steven started laughing. “We were both off.”

“What’d we get? Don’t keep me in suspense here.”

“One hundred and two!” Steven crowed in delight, handing Andy the list he’d painstakingly written down over the last twenty minutes. 

Andy whistled. “Damn, kid. That’s the best I ever did on this continent by a good twenty species. I think it’s all on account of my good luck charm here.” He nudged Steven with his shoulder, and his nephew giggled.

“That’s the power of teamwork,” said Steven, flopping backward in the sand and letting his arms roll out to his sides. He closed his eyes contentedly. “Ahhh. And now it’s time for some well-earned rest.”

Andy didn’t lay down -- he wasn’t certain how easy it’d be to get back up again, at his age -- but he sat there with his arms crossed over his knees, watching the last splash of gold-red light line the horizon’s edge. Rich blue dark began to settle over the sky as the waves kept rolling in and out, the sound of the surf familiar as breathing. His legs throbbed, but it was the pleasant ache of being on his feet all day doing something he loved. Even better, it’d been in good company.

He grinned, glancing down at the bird list, written in Steven's tidy scrawl in pink ink. The final tally at the bottom was circled several times with stars drawn all around it. Underneath that, Steven had written both of their names in triumph.

He blinked back sudden tears, smiling. 

It’d been one hell of a Big Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. The more I've written Andy, the more natural it felt to headcanon him as aromantic and asexual (though he might not use that language for himself, at least at first). In Gem Harvest he seemed most interested in reestablishing family for family's sake, not because he was lacking in other parts of his life and needed family to substitute for that. He's still happy to form family and friend relationships (OBVIOUSLY, as one can tell by this fic LOL), and loves his nomadic traveling, but romance just isn't part of his life.
> 
> 2\. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's been reading this! You all have made this story a joy to work on. Chaptered stories aren't easy for me, I much more prefer the hit-and-run method of throwing out 3000 words and a gut punch and getting out of there, but every once in a while I get a hankering for something more overarching. It's really exciting to know that folks have enjoyed reading about a character -- a human family member to Steven -- who only had dialogue in 2 episodes and just showed up in the background in 2 more. Thanks for taking my headcanon of Andy the birder and letting me know to run with it. :-D
> 
> 3\. Southland gnatcatcher = California gnatcatcher :)
> 
> 4\. If you want to see any of the birds that I've mentioned in this story, search for them here! [Audubon.org](https://www.audubon.org/bird-guide) They're all real and they're all good birds, as Andy would say. As you can see, birding is a much-beloved hobby of mine, and much like with Andy, it's been there for me at some low points in my life. Being out in nature, seeing wildlife, learning the idiosyncrasies of each species, and learning how to be still has been a comfort and even a religious experience for me at times, and it was a real delight to get to share that with you all through fiction. <3
> 
> 5\. The parks Steven and Andy went to in this chapter are Huntington Central Park and Bolsa Chica Ecological Reserve in southern California. My big day there was a little less productive than theirs -- 79 species -- but I also took some pretty long breaks, didn't hit peak migration time, and didn't get there super early in the morning. Plus, Andy's a more advanced birder than I am, so we'll give this to them XD You can see some of them and the list of species sighted here: [Big Day list on tumblr](https://fanfoolishness.tumblr.com/post/178000345388/some-of-my-bird-friends-from-my-birding-big-day)

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a character who loved birding as much as I do. And when you consider what a solitary life Andy has led, up in the air for so many years, birding seemed the perfect hobby for him and a way to enjoy his time and the locales he visits. Another great thing about birding is it's always fun with a friend - or a nephew. :)


End file.
